Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Where'd He Get the Ink?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

President Obama Has Now Drawn a “Red Line” With Iran, Forbidding…

#5 Karen:… Holding a bikini competition/bacon cook-off. When they don’t do that, the media will say it was because of Obama’s shrewd diplomacy.

#4 Oppo:… them from EVER singing that Flock of Seagulls song with their name in it. It really gets stuck in his head.

#3 beaglescout: …Americans from singing “bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” to the tune of “Barbara Ann

#2 Iowa Jim: . . . passing the puck across it and a blue line, which is an offsides penalty.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Jimmy:

President Obama Has Now Drawn a “Red Line” With Iran, Forbidding…anyone from pointing out that all his red lines are drawn with Federal red ink.

 Cookies to Jimmy!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage and walruskkkch:

President Obama Has Now Drawn a “Red Line” With Iran, Forbidding…

FormerHostage: …what else…COOKIES!

walruskkkch: cheap, diet cookies. Only Anonymiss Cookies will do for parties, summits or nuclear armegeddeon!

Kiss up cookies to 
FormerHostage and walruskkkch!

Go check out the winners of Bored Fusion 18 that I just posted at You've Been Fused: 18
Bored Fusion 18
Then go submit your ideas for Bored Fusion 19: Crazy Canoes. I can't wait to see them :) 


My favorite NP punchlines:

Gas prices set a record, 1,000 days over $3 a gallon. The next record...

#3 Harvey : ...will be Obama's record 1000th day telling us that - despite what he said during his 2008 campaign - gas prices aren't important.

#2 Oppo :... will go to the American city that can build the most new mosques -- who will break the two-minaret mile?

My favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks:

Gas prices set a record, 1,000 days over $3 a gallon. The next record...most wars started by a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

Toffee Trifle to Bob in Feenicks!

Here's a new line for you to try:

When he learned the Navy Yard shooter was Buddhist, Joe Biden...


  1. ...threatened to shotgun anyone he found meditating - just to be safe.

  2. Declared himself a Yeaist.

  3. ... went to the closest 7-Eleven store to find out more about what this Buddhism thing was.

  4. ... said, "is that anything like Methodist?"

  5. ... said, "while I appreciate a good booty, I'm more of a 'leg man'".

  6. said, "Good... they won't be able to blame religion for this one."

  7. ...proposed cutting off Budweiser sales at public events.

  8. ...made inquiries to the Dalai Lama, Richard Gere, Tiger Woods, Steven Seagal, Orlando Bloom, and Tina Turner to ask if he, too, was at risk for voices-in-the-head, shotgun-wielding mass murder.

  9. ...blamed it on all the Confusian.

  10. ... said "That must be the lock and lotus position I've heard so much about."

    ... wondered if he had Bodhi armor.

  11. ...said "all you gun nuts can boo dis", grabbed his crotch and said "owwwww, my crotch hurts".