Friday, October 25, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Problem Solved!

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A new report shows that $1 billion a day is spent fighting global warming. The result:



#5 rodney dill:…we’ll get more speeches from Al Gorax… who speaks for the trees.

#4 AT:  …$1 billion/day less to fight the war against fictional super villains.

#3 Writer:… $2 Billion a Day in higher taxes to administer it.

#2 Burt:  Al Gore is the undisputed Guinness world record holder for frequent flyer miles.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Westing1992:

A new report shows that $1 billion a day is spent fighting global warming. The result:…it’s as if the Earth isn’t getting warmer at all! Great work, everybody!

 Cookies to Westing1992!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam, HokieGomer and FormerHostage:

A new report shows that $1 billion a day is spent fighting global warming. The result:

can of spam:… $1B per day less spent on cookies.

HokieGomer:…delectably warm cookies any time of the year!

FormerHostage:... Who cares? I gotz cookies.

Kiss up cookies to can of spam,
HokieGomer and FormerHostage!
____________________

My favorite line from yesterday was from Harvey:

A woman was arrested for firing a gun into the air to scare off her daughter's attackers. She was accused...of cruelly mocking poor, simple Joe Biden. How insensitive!

Cookies to Harvey!

Here's a new line for you to try:


Obama wants the marines to spend over $8 Million to make their hats more "unisex". He also...

8 comments:

  1. will spend $2 Million teaching them to do "The French Mistake" (Voila)

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  2. spend an additional $8 Million teaching them to stand on their heads. (as balancing now will apparently be harder.)

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. ...wants to rename them the "Ries", because the "m", "a", "n" in their name is sexist.

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  5. ... allocated $20 million for a study on how to further reduce troop morale.

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  6. ...want's to increase the chances of male Marines having solosex to 100%.

    ...spend whatever it takes to find footwear that matches the new battle capris and sparkly tank tops they will be fighting in.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...wants to change their motto from "Semper Fi" to "Semper Wii"

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...wants umbrellas to be standard issue with their uniform so that the next time it rains on him, they'll have one already handy.

    ReplyDelete