Thursday, June 27, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - It's Elemental

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A White House Climate Adviser Said We Need a “War On Coal”. Also needed:…

#5 Apostic : ...a coal substitute for what he’ll be getting from Santa this year.

#4 rodney dill : A War on Zevon (Send Lawyers, guns, and money)

#3 walruskkkch …an appreciation of how well most governmental “War on’s” have turned out.

#2 seanmahair we need a war on White House Advisers.

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from Oppo: (he had a brilliant elemental theme going on yesterday, and I couldn't choose just one :)

A White House Climate Adviser Said We Need a “War On Coal”. Also needed:

… steel cage death match against molybdenum.

… a surprise winter attack on argon / an assault on the rhenium.

… a stupid, futile resistance to krypton.

… a xenon warrior princess.

… a rhodium scholar / a wizard of osmium.

Cookies to Oppo!

What kind of cookies is your favorite, Oppo? :)

Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the First bestows "Empress Kitten's Kiss Up Cookies" to Jimmy for saying my cookies are in a "perpetual state of disappearance" :) What kind is your favorite, Jimmy?


Check out Springeraz's new post Dance, Sucka.  It highlights all the latest Progressive dance moves. I loved it, and it's not even about Zumba :)  Cookies to Newbie!

My favorite punchline today is from Bob B.:

For the first time, the FDA used its authority to regulate tobacco products. Next to be regulated:  LGBT fats(because trans fats is so un-PC)

Cookies to Bob B.!

What kind would you like today, Bob?


Here's a new line for you to try:

Hillary Clinton to be awarded the 2013 Liberty Medal. Next to be awarded...


  1. ...Joe Biden will receive the Award for the Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.

  2. ... will be Consulation prizes to the four dead Beghazi staffers.

    [Anonymiss: Yay! No favorite cookie -- the better question would be "are there any cookies you don't like?"]

    1. Are there any you don't like?

      Green pepper and walnut cookies to Oppo!

      Hahaha just kidding. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy. Those'd be right up there with Unny's Uncookies.

      Laura Bush Cowboy cookies to Oppo! They have coconut and chocolate chips and oatmeal and are they good. :)

  3. ... will be the Father of the Year award to Bill Clinton, the Nobel Peace Prize to a president who arms Syrian rebels, music awards to rap stars, and the Alice In Wonderland Medal to the United States.

    ... cookies to Diabetic Joe McGlutenallery.

  4. ...the blame... those nominated include George Bush... and ... and ...

  5. (Oppo's been on a roll lately...)

  6. ...Joe Biden for the most gratuitous use of the word 'Belgium.'

  7. ...Gravity, for not giving in even though Chris Christie and Michael Moore won't take turns will win the Hallmark Not A Black Hole Yet Award.

  8. ...Anthony Weiner, as the Democratic Rising Star.

    {Sweet Anonymiss, do not ask for whom the Tollhouse, um, tolls for me!}

  9. By the way, any of you know where I could find a good dwarf?

    Lonely around here.

    Any of you guys wanna apply? :)


  10. ...will be the Cognitive Dissonance Award, given to Nancy Pelosi for her conflicting positions on insurance rates in ObamaCare.

    ...will be a Lifetime Achievement Award for President Obama* [*This is a speculative award, much like the Nobel prize, because, to date, the President has no achievements in his lifetime]

  11. The very sad thing is that Bob B.'s #2 is correct, not irony.