Nuke the Punchline - Spoiled

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

During the sequester, Joe Biden still got paid rent by the Secret Service. He also got…

#5 rodney dill: …to go trick or treating around the offices of Congress. He got a lot of rocks.

#4 Steve H:… paid royalties for all of his past appearances on Howdy Doody (title character), Captain Kangaroo (Mr. Moose), The Ed Sulivan Show (Poco Gigio), Third Rock From The Sun (Big Giant Head), and The Powerpuff Girls (the amoeba boys). Joe also has numerous uncredited performances as a U.S. Senate doorstop.

#3 can of spam:… his government paycheck, delivered by a government-subsidized postal service that drove on government-funded roads, which he deposited in a government-guaranteed bank account. What exactly was shut down, again?

#2 walruskkkch: ...back rent, front rent and several rather large “security deposits” in his Swiss bank account.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Fangbeer:

During the sequester, Joe Biden still got paid rent by the Secret Service. He also got…an all expenses paid trip to a magic land where he can blast off as many shells of 00 Buck off the back porch as he’d like and shout any old stupid thing he can think of without it being national news. It’s a special place where all the minorities are clean and well spoken, people in wheelchairs can stand up, JOBS is a three letter word, and everyone can understand the Hajis at 7/11.

 Cookies to Fangbeer!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam and walruskkkch:

During the sequester, Joe Biden still got paid rent by the Secret Service. He also got…

walruskkkch:...hints that there were the bestest cookies in the land out there for the taking, but Anonymiss cleverly avoided his clumsy attempts to obtain them [Hahahah  yep :)]

can of spam:… a lifetime achievement award of cookies for providing so much material for SLotD. [Not sure how I feel about that!]

Kiss up Cookies to can of spam
and walruskkkch!

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My favorite line from yesterday was from Bob B.:

"Chris Christie, you were just reelected governor of New Jersey. What are you going to do next?" ..."I'm going to MSNBC!"

Cookies to Bob B.!

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Here's a new line for you to try:

Obama was roasted by Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood at the CMAs. Next to roast Obama...