Thursday, January 8, 2015

Bait, Click, Repeat

Harvey at IMAO notes that Time Inc. reporters are being pressured to drive more traffic to their website, or they can expect the same fate as a bikini-clad, Koran-smoked bacon salesman pole dancing in a mosque in Kabul.

I’ve come up with a few headlines to get them started:

“You Won't Believe Which Irrelevant, Random Entity We Chose as Person of the Year!”

“70 Signs That Your News Magazine Jumped the Shark in the 1970s”

“These Reporters Were Forced to Write Increasingly Outrageous Sensationalistic Crap to Get More Suckers to Read Their Insipid Articles. You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!”

“This Video of Our Magazine’s Sales Meeting Will Break Your Heart”

“How Swell is That Kim Jong-un? No Reason to Hack Time Warner, Is There Now, Right?”

“The Lives of Angry Protesters with Vandalism Tools in the Vicinity of Our Publishing Headquarters Matter. Now, Who Do We Make the Check out to, Mr. Sharpton?”

“Exclusive: Redacted Justice Department Documents So Shocking That We’ve Redacted Them Even Further at the Request of the Justice Department”

“Infographic: Top Infographic Graphics of All Time” (warning: graphic content)

“Prostitute: Eccentric Congressman Client ‘One Weird Trick’”

“42 Reasons Why All TV Scientists Are Right About Everything” — by Neil deGrasse Tyson

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