Monday, June 5, 2017

Love Is All You Bleed

During Ariana Grande’s “One Love Manchester” benefit concert, counter-terrorism expert Katy Perry imparted cultivated pearls of enlightenment on the unwashed, un-bodyguarded, un-gated communitied masses who apparently have not done enough to open their hearts to their misunderstood neighbors.

“It's not easy to always choose love, is it, especially in moments like this... but love conquers fear and love conquers hate, and this love you choose will give you strength, and it's our greatest power.”

“As you stand here, all of you here..standing next to a stranger...just touch the next person, touch the person next to you. Tell them I love you, look in their eyes.”

“I encourage you to choose love, even when it's difficult. Let no one take that away from you.”

No wonder a certain subset of unfairly oppressed migrants are moved to occasionally go out and slaughter a bunch of infidels. Wouldn’t you? Of course you would, because all religions are the same.

Blowing up oneself and those in the vicinity, mowing down pedestrians on a crowded sidewalk, slicing up blasphemous kafirs who have the gall to go out on the town, eating and drinking during your holy month — how could such justifiable actions be interpreted as anything but lonely cries for love and acceptance?

I think a good start would be to throw more baby showers. I mean, what’s not to love about such a kind gesture that would melt the heart of even the most alienated social worker who has found no other recourse from the pain but to plan a social justice event involving tactical gear and long guns?

Yes, if we only choose love, that will solve everything. That, and unrestricted immigration. And the Paris climate agreement. Okay, three things: love, unrestricted immigration, and the Paris climate agreement. And government-controlled health care. If we only choose those four things, and… oh yeah, more gun control. Five things, for now. We’ll get back to you.

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