Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Reader Submission: How to Argue with a Liberal Part 2

Here is part two of Walkingdead's series on how to argue with a liberal. If you missed part one, you can catch it here.

How to Win an Argument with a Liberal (Part 2)
(the revenge!)

Before I get started I want to tell you guys a little about myself and my qualifications. I’m 33 years old, live in the Detroit metro area, and have 2 friends since child hood that consider themselves socialist, or at the very least European socialist. Not those crazy soviet socialist, or German socialist of our grandfathers generation. I also have been blocked by Keith Olbermann on twitter after an exchange he and I (as well as 3 of his closest yes men lackeys) had for about an hour. So I know a thing or two about what I’m talking about. I love to, and live for arguments. I enjoy them. At least until someone gets personal.

So with that out of the way, let’s dive right in. We will go point by point from my last article:

#1 XXXXXX company made XXXXX dollars last year and cut XXXX jobs through downsizing. They are terrible and need to be stopped.

This one may seem tough. You may have been a product of downsizing yourself. The one thing you need in this argument however is math. Nothing will ever confuse a liberal more than numbers that actually add up to things. You simply explain to them, in a really low register (and slowly mind you), that a company does not need to keep 7 employees if it only needs 5. It’s more wasteful to keep more. When they ask about wasteful just say something about global warming, and erosion. They will leave you alone

#2 Wanda Staduchi is the mother of 6 kids, through no fault of her own. She spends $3,242 every month in diapers, and spit rags. She needs help. Some months she can’t even afford her 3 cans of Skoal per week habit.

This is a better example of emotion over logic. Wanda is a woman who is old enough to understand where baby’s come from. She has 6 of them. Wanda is not doing what she needs to do to take care of them, or her self. Since you’re a conservative and therefore heartless (in the eyes of liberals everywhere) all you need to do is explain that the fastest way to fix the problem is forced labor, and re-education camps. I’m just kidding… mostly. Wanda is someone who does need help, however the government will only keep her on programs that further the government programs. Nothing will ever be done about the problem or to help her get out of it. For more information on this read Adam Carolla’s new book Not Taco Bell Material.

Arguments #3 and 4 will be handled in part 3 of my series: HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH A LIBERAL PART 3- “LIBERAL HARDER”.

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