Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Have You Seen Obama's New Campaign Video?

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Have you seen Obama's new campaign video?

#5 Mrs. C: ...He didn’t make it.

#4 Manolo: ...As bad as it is, it’s still better than most of the content on the Oprah Winfrey Network.

#3 Bob in Feenicks: was supposed to show what a post-apocalyptic nightmare a Romney presidency would look like: it has explosions, guns, gratuitous violence, and unarmed hippies being beat up. But then Romney’s popularity skyrocketed after just one showing to a test group.

#2 Jimmy: ...It’s called “Obama wags the dog – and then eats it!”

And the best punchline goes to London Bridge:

Have you seen Obama's new campaign video? Yes. It followed your basic Obama campaign ad formula:

2 parts outright lies
1 part twisting of facts
An equal amount of finger-pointing and scaremongering
Seasoned with a pinch of desperation

Congratulations London Bridge!

Now here's a line for you guys to wrestle with:

Obama just hired...


  1. PR Firm, they are a European-based firm and don't have offices in the US.

  2. Several former all-pro NFL defensive linemen to push people to safety if they accidentally get between Michelle and a tamale.

  3. ...a Joe Biden look-alike to take on assignments Biden would be unavailable for, such as, public appearances, public speaking ...or just about anything done in public.

  4. Obama just hired Hugo Chavez as Czar to head up the newly created "Citizen Patriotism Agency" (CPA). This Agency will be responsible for monitoring U.S. citizens to ensure everyone is staying in within the bound established by the head of the department of CPA. The agency will be able to use the Patriot Act to monitor communication and act as appropriate to ensure that any threat to the government is eliminated.

    At it's disposal the CPA will have access to any means necessary to have compliance by the U.S. citizens. Including and not limited to any military technology or weapons as deemed appropriate by the head of the department of the CPA.

    Starting immediately the Department of Homeland Security will be moved under CPA to ensure they can execute any measures needed to ensure U.S. Citizens remain patriotic to the government.

  5. Everyone, he is going to have them work in Michelle's garden and the pay is eleventy bazillion Obama fun-bucks an hour and can only be redeemed at special government run stores. Ignore the hammer and sickle emblems comra-I mean citizen!