Saturday, September 8, 2012

Monkeys, Typewriters, Shakespear, and Taxes

It is said that a bunch of monkeys given typewriters and an infinite amount of time could compose the complete works of William Shakespeare. I'm not sure what a typewriter is an old fashioned computer without a monitor I think...but the idea is that a if a bunch of monkeys could take an infinite amount of time out of their normal poop-throwing and causing mischief, they could type out something that makes sense.

But the real question is, could these same monkeys with the same ancient technology that Shakespeare used to type out his movie scripts, also compose the U.S. tax code in an infinite amount of time? Well, that is really a question for Science! to deal with, but they will have to consider two important variables: the U.S. tax code is four times longer than all of Shakespeare's movies and radio shows combined, and that the tax code uses actual words but makes absolutely no sense. A daunting task for any poor monkey to take on, it requires a special kind of idiot to accomplish: the educated flavor.

I think this is why so many people want the tax code rewritten, and I have a perfect solution for this. Instead of using the normal educated idiots who overdo everything and end up with a 4 million word non sequitur, they should go with a finite period of time, say one month, and monkeys with computers. Then after this process, they can use a computer to filter out actual words and assemble it into a new tax code.

It couldn't be worse than the existing one, right?

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