Wednesday, October 10, 2012

If Michelle Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

Barack was looking very sour leaving the stage after the debate last week, which made sense given his performance, but then it was reported that Barack thought he had demolished Romney in the debate, so why so melancholy?  Then I remembered, what is the reason any man would look so downtrodden?  Of course.  His old lady is mad at him.  I think he may have made more missteps on his anniversary than simply holding an unfortunate debate that night.  Rumors from my sources indicate some of the following may be the reason for Michelle’s wrath.
·         Barack forgot to remove the ‘previously owned’ sticker from the box of chocolates he gave her.

·         In a romantic gesture, Barack got Michelle’s name tattooed on his derriere, but it was misspelled.  It was spelled: ‘Madonna.’
·         She recognized the broach he gave her from the HSN Carnival of Values special: $9.99 buy one get one free.
·         She discovered that her gift had been purchased with money Barack had redistributed from her private account.
·         When Romney quipped that his being there would make the evening more romantic, she had the sudden realization that he was right.
·         She had learned that Barack made reservations for them at a restaurant whose menu strictly followed her school lunch nutrition guidelines.
·         The Secret Service accidentally let it slip that she had spent the last three anniversaries with some of the President’s decoys.  But this year she was stuck with the real deal. 
·         She discovered that Barack had maxed out all their lines of credit following a get rich quick scheme he called Keynesian economics.
·         Barack had informed her that, in the spirit of social justice and gender equality, they would be going dutch this year.
·         The DNA test results for her daughters arrived.  Turns out Barack really was the father after all.
·         Barack insisted on celebrating without the use of his teleprompter this year.  You thought his performance at the debate was bad, try spending an unscripted evening with this guy.


  1. Next year his advisers need to help him out. Vanilla and cinnamon. :)

  2. Although I guess next year he won't HAVE advisers. Poor Michelle.

  3. And you thought this guy was a stuffed SHIRT??? THIS is the woman who has to cram all of that straw and padding into his FACE!!!

  4. Your making too much out of her surly mood,

    Michelle's mood is completely normal for a Klingon warrior

    Or a preying mantis prior to chewing its mates head off....

  5. Turns out all that money Barry has borrowed since he was elected has been spent on male enhancement products and he is still running a deficit.