Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Obama Secret Weapon

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

President Obama's "secret weapon" in the debate...

#5 AesometificAmerican: have the Emergency Broadcast System conduct “random tests” during Romney’s answers.

#4 blarg: ...Candy Crowley

#3 FormerHostage: ...every time he screws up Hillary is going to come on stage and take responsibility for it.

#2 CTCompromise: ...he will have just eaten a pit bull in order to gain it’s characteristics.

And the best punchline goes to both tomg51 and rodney dill:

President Obama's "secret weapon" in the debate  is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are …

Let's try that again...

President Obama's "secret weapon" in the debate is  fear… and surprise… his two chief weapons in the debate are fear and surprise… and the ability to fluidly fabricate lies…no, his three chief weapons are fear, surprise, the ability to fluidly fabricate lies, …. and he’s married to a wookie… wait a minute… let me come in again.

Congratulations tomg51 and rodney dill. Two points each!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was  Bob in Feenicks:

The Obama campaign has proposed new rules for further debates. They must provide an all-you-can-eat dog buffet for the debaters.

Congratulations Bob!


Now here's a line for you guys to meddle with:

During the town hall debate, Obama...


  1. ...kept looking around anxiously for a fire extinguisher in case his pants burst into flame.

  2. stung like a butterfly, floated like a bee.

  3. . . . mouthed "I love you" to Candy Crowley whenever the camera was on Romney.

    . . . had indigestion from his dinner. Must have been rabid.

    1. I was eating Meatloaf for dinner but kept thinking of an aging rocker as Crowley spoke. I kept thinking why is Meatloaf dressed like a woman as a moderator of a Presidential debate?

  4. ...kept asking his empty chair for advice.

    ...tried to appeal to the audience by giving them puppy dog eyes, but ended up grossing them out instead, because he literally gave them eyes of puppies he ate.

  5. Kept muttering, "Mongo like Candy."

  6. wished he hadn't eaten three bean burritos for lunch.