Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Who Benefited Most From the Debate Last Night?

Well, since Obama didn’t receive another forcible colonic last night, I guess Democrats everywhere are looking to celebrate.  And you know who that benefits?  Walkingdead.  We all know that young women overwhelming support Obama. Walkingdead is at a conference and then vacation. Perfect timing. The majority of young women he encounters will be looking for a good time.  He just has to find a way to appeal to the lefties.  Don’t worry, Walkingdead, not all lefties look like Sandra Fluke if you are sufficiently drunk.  You can do it.  Here are some pickup lines to get the ball rolling for you with those Democrat women.  I’m not going to guarantee that these will work for you, but if they don’t we may have to fall back on your original plan to hack the Planned Parenthood database and steal the names and numbers of all the loose women in your area.  Happy hunting!

·         Hello, perhaps I could have someone else buy you a drink?
·         Let's do it like they do it in Libya. No protection required.
·         If I told you you had a beautiful Prius, would you hold it against me?
·         You had me at Che.
·         Your mouth says "no," but this order from the California Court of Appeals says "yes."
·         So, do you come to this abortion clinic often?
·         I just love the way you've styled the hair on your legs. Do the cornrows go all the way up?
·         You know what they say about the size of a man's carbon footprint....
·         I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves. (No wait, no liberal would understand this one. It has math. Scratch it).
·         Hey baby, what's your tanx cosx? (No wait, they wouldn't get that one either. I think I'm getting my lists mixed up. I'm so confused).
·         If you were Iraq, I'd keep my troops stationed there forever.
·         How about we go back to your place and cause some global warming?
·         Wanna go to my parent's basement and make a POC?
·         The name's Clinton. Bill Clinton.
·         While I don't believe in the right to bear arms, I won't fight the right to your bare midriff.


  1. you want to "progress" to my place?

  2. no sweety, the condom is for me, the paper bag is for you.

  3. Replies
    1. I thought you would never ask. Want to feel my tingling thigh?

  4. I've never eaten vegan before, but I could try it tonight?

    p.s. I understand if Keln deletes that one.

    1. I was teetering on deleting the whole post.

      Family-friendly, people. Family-friendly.

    2. Sorry. This one seemed fairly tame to me compared to some of my other posts. Not even my friends and family (who are prudish and often shocked and dismayed by things I say) found this one offensive. If you need me, I'll be self flagellating ignominiously.

    3. Hey...woah! I don't want to know what you do in your spare time sir!

    4. Uncle Lactose? Don't I count as "friend" or "family"? I don't remember being consulted...

    5. I'll have to go to bat here for Lactose by pointing out that, if you post as "anonymous", we have no way of knowing who you are. There are a lot of anonymous commenters on this site.

      Might I suggest making a username? You could even call it "Anonymiss".

      Witty, eh?

    6. Geez. You really are lousy at keeping things anonymous. :P LOL

  5. I've got a roll of food stamps burning a hole in my pocket.

    Want to go back to my place and see my section 8?

    I'm driving a volt because I don't need to over compensate.

    It looks like you could use another baby-daddy.

    If i said you had a beautiful Obama-phone would you hold it against me? On vibrate?

    Would you like to fluke?

  6. P.S. I just want to say that many times when a restaurant is on a wait, I give my name as John F Kennedy. I think it helps.