A Rantabulous Rant

I don't think he's gonna take it anymore...

You know, the tough part about being a satirist is trying to be funny all of the time, even when you want to spit in people's eyes and yell and throw stuff because you're angry about things. Fortunately, as an amateur satirist, I can get away with, like, not being funny and just spitting in people's eyes. Well, other than when they call the police for doing that, because it's apparently "unsanitary" or something. Dunno why, it's not like I don't brush my teeth. (The police don't really care for that excuse, btw...).

But, what I am trying to say here, besides the fact that the police are really way to rigid in their execution of the law and especially sanitation violations, is that sometimes I just want to rant. And that I know there has been a lot of ranting on this here blog of late, considering recent events. And by recent events, I mean that complete and utter failure of a president Obama winning the election. I tried to do all of the normal things in such a situation such as eating chocolate, punching hippies, and re-reading Ayn Rand books, but it just isn't helping much.

The fact of the matter is, I love my country. Like, truly and completely love my country. And not in the way that people used to love their countries to the point that they wanted everyone else to die and stuff, like in the olden days. I mean, like, I actually believe that my country is the best because of the principles it was founded on. Nothing to do with ethnicity or stuff like that. Just the ideals that America is based on. You know, John Locke and Thomas Jefferson stuff. An idea that I was raised to love, like so many who grew up with Regan as president. Or Washington if you are that old.

An idea that I was proud to honor in military service. It's not like I had a death wish or something. I just felt I had a duty to contribute to making sure that idea is around long enough for me to enjoy, and for my kids to enjoy, and for their kids as well. My great-grand kids, who cares, I won't be around to see the brats anyways...maybe. If I am, they had better buy me a really awesome robot butler to take care of me, because by then there will be robot butlers. Probably.

But back on topic here. I am not angry because "my guy" lost the election. I mean, let's be realistic here, I didn't exactly choose Romney. The "Romney is inevitable" crowd chose Romney and shoved that guy down our throats. Ann Coulter was one of the "Romney is inevitable" crowd...just pointing that out. There are a whole bunch of these supposed "conservative" or whatever pundits that were touting Romney, and they should be held accountable for it. I don't think Sean Hannity was one of them though. But Hannity is so corny, they could use him for an ethanol source. And he is Irish...so double the ethanol. Hehe, see what I did there?

Anywho, Romney won the primary for the same reason Obama won the election...because the majority does not have the courage to say "we need to change course, and now". Not convinced? Explain how a "safe bet" RINO Romney won the primary. And while you're at it Mr. Wizard, explain how Obama won, the Dems maintained the Senate, but Republicans actually gained in the House. If that doesn't scream "we're afraid of change", then I don't know what does.

And if allowing the Obamanation to continue doesn't also scream "me want free stuff"...again, I dunno what does. I mean, the only way to do one better is to reanimate the dead corpse of Karl Marx and make him president. Forget "Forward", why not "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need". I'd say voting in Carter is worse, but Obama already out-Cartered Carter. So Carter isn't even the worst president anymore...the only thing he had going for him. Poor sod.

I mean, when it comes down to it, the fear of change is simply that...the fear of giving up free stuff from an invisible source. Yeah, I know, we're told it is from the "rich" and it's only their "fair share" that it is being robbed from. Well, I hope most voters like the taste of human hands, because this system surely dines upon the hands feeding them. You like stores and restaurants? You like conveniences? You like iPods (what is wrong with you...Apple is the Devil you heathen)?  If you like all that stuff, you have to like business. If you like having a job, which pays you money to get stuff...again, businesses. And businesses = rich people. At least, Obama's definition of rich people. Few small businesses gross less than $250,000...the number Obama chose for raising taxes.

So what happens then? With Obamacare requiring even small businesses to suddenly add the HUGE expense of health insurance, plus the prospect of higher taxes. Well duh...they layoff people. They're already doing it. But then the morons who love Obama and free stuff are starting the boycotts already. Why are they so upset? Because they have needs, man...and business owners have ability. Gimmie gimmie...

I made a post some days back, probably the day after the election but I'm too lazy to verify that, where I said I wash my hands of this silliness. And in a sense I do. I meant every word of what I wrote, and also the thousands of other words I deleted for various reasons both legal and to protect the PG rating of this website. But I am not going to pretend I am not mad about it. I mean...it's my beloved country that I have to see go down the tubes. Even if I hold onto the hope that we'll pull out of the dive before we crash, I still have to see it happen. Because it will take nothing less than utter catastrophe to awaken the public to the fact that, yes, an overbearing government enslaving you through a votes for free stuff Ponzi scheme is really bad for you. And especially bad for your liberty. Because slavery comes in many forms...just slavery to government is more efficient. 

Ironically.