Sunday, January 20, 2013

Good Combo/Bad Combo


This was just too horrific not to share. I'll start with a couple short lists of things that go well together and things that do NOT go well together.

Things that go well together:

  • Conservatism and freedom
  • Guns and self-defense
  • Chocolate and Peanut Butter
  • Bacon (or Garlic) and just about anything
Things that do not go well together:

  • Liberalism and freedom
  • Obama and tax dollars
  • Alcohol and Driving
  • A six-year-old boy who wants to be a scary green monster and a nine-year-old girl with food coloring


The Hand of Evil, that perpetrated this:


The moral of the story: Never take a bath when your children are awake.


16 comments:

  1. Awesome. I understand completely...but my plan is to take the baths anyway...and deal with whatever atrocities occur AFTERWARDS when I'm a new woman. :)

    How much soap did it take to get it off? Or is he still green?

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    1. Fortunately, I dragged him into the bath with me and scrubbed him down before it had a chance to dry. Now he's just green-tinted instead of hulkified. His sister was trying to sponge him off in the bathroom sink, with predictable results for the floor and everything around him.

      Also, I have a new Jakeism: Last night, while I was playing video games with him, his sister came down from her room and asked me to make her something to eat, which I promptly failed to do. I also failed the second time, because, you know, video game. And when she came down the third time, she was irate and stomped back upstairs, casing Jake to mumble, "The world doesn't evolve around Brenna." He has a way with words.

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  2. Love it! Love it all!

    My two-and-a-half year old daughter has been pulling jokes on me all day, but thank God none of them involved food coloring.

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    1. Gotta love 'em. My daughter also decided that there were a number of things that needed new colors, so we now have purple sugar, purple vanilla pudding, and purple pink lemonade.

      Yes, she died the pink lemonade purple.

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  3. Love the colors. My 3 year old son was so excited when I bought a new curling iron and hairdryer. It perplexed me because he is "all boy". He kept bringing the boxes to me and I would tell him "not right now". I finally understood when he brought them to me again, "Momma? PLEASE open gun and sword?"

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    1. They are awesome when they are young. Then they get older and they are even more fun. Is he your youngest?

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    2. He's my youngest. Not sure I agree about the "even more fun" when they're older part. Oh yeah. You don't have teenagers yet. :)

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    3. You can't take 'em on roller coasters when they're small. Last year, I got my daughter on every roller coaster at Kennywood, and this year, maybe one or two new ones for the boy.

      I like being able to take my kids there and say, " This is the same ride my dad rode when he was a boy," and be able to share that with them.

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  5. I love roller coasters, but have only been on one in over 20 years. I was told it was too expensive. I did enjoy the one last summer, though. Never heard of Kennywood. An amusement park near you?

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    1. Kennywood is a regional part just outside of Pittsburgh. It's the only amusement park on the National Register of Historic Places, and a couple of the roller coasters are about 80-90 years old. It's family-oriented, but awesome. (Kennywood.com) We make our trip there in the summer, instead of Cedar Point (which has the world's most awesome roller coasters), for that reason. Also, Cedar Point does not accommodate larger riders well, but Kennywood does. Which brings to mind an amusing anecdote.

      Brenna does not like to try new rides that look scary, so I made her a deal: If she rides it one time, I will not pester her to ride it again that trip if she doesn't like it. If she does like it, she has to ride with her mom the next time.

      So, two years ago, I convince her to try the Racer (Only side-by-side racing coaster in the world where the trains run on a single track), and we wait in line for probably 20 minutes. Finally, we're getting into the train, and she zips in and buckles right up. I, however, can't get the seatbelt around me. I'm so wedged in there, it's going to take a crowbar to get me out, as it is, so I put the seatbelt under my belly. No dice. They caught it. I'm about to be mortally embarrassed like I was at Cedar Point 2 years prior, and they whip out a seat belt extender. Take that Cedar Fair!

      Anyway, now the seatbelt is fastened, but they can't get the lap bar to click. It is also inder my belly, and it ain't goin' nowhere, but they gotta have the click. So, once again fearing that I'm going to have to do the walk of shame, the girls running the ride start slamming the bar as hard as they can. Again, no dice. Finally, one jumps up ONTO THE LAPBAR, and proceeds to jump up and down on it. CLICK!

      I had bruises in my upper thighs for weeks, but I got that first ride on the Racer with my daughter, who then proceeded to ride it three more times with Ndnd.

      WIN!

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  6. I love these moments. These are the things we'll remember when we're growing old together. I'll cherish this, along with "I made my own conclusion" and "you can't reverse psychology-only God can do that." Arik, do you remember the banana on your forehead?(I know this has nothing to do with the kids, I was just thinking about you and me :)

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    1. I remember being hit in the face by a number of things you lobbed in my direction.

      Perhaps I should get my reflexes checked...

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    2. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge-say no more! Tee, hee!

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  7. We're one of the good combos!

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    1. Like a plugged in toaster oven and a bathtub full of water, we are indeed a shocking pair.

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