Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: Running with Scissors

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…

#5 CTCompromise: to have “an open an frank discussion” with him.

#4 Mrs. Campbell: ...Ascertain if the gun wielder (gunman is sexist) is from a protected ethnic or social minority. If so, try to empathize according to the media-promoted archetypes: Latinos are often upset over immigration, Blacks about the prejudice of high society and slavery; etc.

#3 gsmtiger: to walk at him, and then ask his permission to stab him with scissors.

#2 D***Cat: to threaten him with nail clippers which DHS has determined are capable of bringing down commercial aircraft.

And the best punchline goes to zipity:

According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman is to sing”Like A Good Neighbor, State Farm is There©…”

Congratulations zipity!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Bob in Feenicks

Now that the Obama administration has declared drone strikes on Americans legal...Biden said he thinks it's great that American drones finally have the right to unionize and collectively bargain.

Congratulations Bob!


Now here's a line for you guys to play with:

To prove he likes guns, Obama...


  1. ...released a photo of himself drilling a gun oil well. Using a revolvering drill bit. Claiming to be pumping 5,000 barrels a day. He also admitted he lied when he told Michelle he was just glad to see her.

  2. ...told NASA to expand their outreach program and give more guns to Muslims.

  3. said he and his "girlfriend" Julia went shooting all the time back in college.

    Told the press that, if he had a son, he would teach him safety and respect for firearms.

  4. ate a gun, not a rifle.

    (this is my rifle, this is my gun)

  5. ...claimed some of his best friends are guns.

  6. He... uh... Oh its 'likes' not 'licks'... nevermind.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. ...sings ♬
    Happiness is a warm gun... bang bang shoot shoot