Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: Attack of the Drones

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

The White House announced its new drones will be able to...

#5 Rodney Dill: ...shoot hellfire missiles that are made out of pop tarts by second graders.

#4 Richard: ...use Vulcan mind tricks.

#3 Steve H: ...approach any violent anti-American foreign leader and perform the famous Chief Executive Stop-Bow-and-Apologize maneuver. (Can also pause long enough for photo ops, boot kissing, and stupefyingly obsequious speeches).

#2 gsmtiger: ...hand out welfare checks and food stamps in their off time.

And the best line goes to tomg51:

The White House announced its new drones will be able to reduce the costs associated with long-term healthcare. 

Congratulations tomg51.


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Bob in Feenicks:

After hearing that Karzai of Afghanistan accused the US of collaboration with the Taliban, John Kerry...claimed it was impossible because that would be seared in his memory if it was true.

Congratulations Bob.


Now here's a line for you guys to play with:

After a New York judge reversed the ban on large sodas, Bloomberg...


  1. ...banned all sodas UNDER 16 ounces.

  2. ...mandated dribble cups for all restaurants.

  3. ...hired Stewie to follow around people, with larger drink sizes, with a tuba.

  4. ...said, 'you want fries widdat?"

  5. ...killed himself by jumping into a Big Gulp cup. He didn't drown, but like they say, it's the sudden stop at the end, not the fall that kills you.

  6. ...banned all judges that disagree with him.