Friday, April 12, 2013

Both Sides Now - Abortion


In the interest of promoting intellectual diversity and understanding between left and right, Nuking Politics presents "Both Sides Now", where folks of a non-conservative bent try their best to enlighten us

Hello conservatives, I am Isidor Clinch-Bacon.  I am a recognized expert in the field of Societal Humanist Identity Transmogrification, and I am also a cofounder and registered lobbyist for the Society for the Culmination of Utopian Marxist Beliefs And General Surveillance, (a member of the President's Council on Progressive Reform) and I am here today at the invitation of the people who run this website to set the record straight about the ridiculous misconceptions held by conservatives on a matter well established in the law, the right of a woman to choose

 There has been much hysteria on this and other festering pools of neocon indoctrination lately regarding abortion, both in-utero and, particularly, post natal abortion, or as it is more properly known, secondary metafetal rectification.  Occasionally fetal tissue which has been separated from the Mother survives an abortion, and the case has been made very clearly that the decision to terminate the fetus should rightly rest with the Mother and the "care provider".  There have been attempts by so called "Neo Natalegists" to suggest that surviving fetuses are actually living human beings, but this is politically motivated nonsense.  Also the blatant racist and sexist intent of these statements cannot be overlooked.  My sources tell me that most nio natolygists have no idea what they are talking about, and that in fact, many of them can't even spell neo natollygy.  

But these facts seem to be lost on conservatives, whose thinking appears to be driven by pure emotion and fantasy.  Scientific research as explained by informed people such as Alisa LaPolt Snow, has proven that a fetus which survives abortion cannot vote, does not feel pain like actual human beings, and further, has no awareness of it's surroundings, contributes nothing to the State, and cries all the time.  Also, they can't vote.   These facts are conveniently overlooked by conservatives, which is a direct consequence of their willingness to believe things they are taught by their conservative overlords, such as the people who control this website.  A bill will soon be introduced in the Congress which codifies all of this, including a provision which will define a fetus, for these purposes, to be anyone under the age of 16.  This bill will allow exceptions for fetuses between the ages of 12 and 16 if these specimens can be shown to be of utility to the State.  I can be reached at iclinchbacon@soculminationutopianmarxistbeliefsandgeneralsurveillance.com , (no spaces), and I welcome your comments.  Thank you for the opportunity to present my views.   

3 comments:

  1. Isidor is my cousin, and I do not appreciate your mocking him. He has several Ph.D.'s and is on numerous important committees. He would eat you for lunch if he wasn't too afraid to meet you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where's the other side of this "both sides" article? :-)
    I like it, please make this a regular piece!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here's the other side:

    Ahem...

    You sir are a doodie head.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete