Monday, April 29, 2013

Tactical Nuke: Monday, April 29, 2013

• According to someone, somewhere, Barbara Streisand is "still sexy at 70".

No. She has never been sexy, ever. I see her face and I fight back the desire to puke. Who are these idiots in the media that keep telling us who is beautiful or not? And why do they always pick ugly people to say are beautiful?

I mean, that woman hasn't a single redeeming quality about her. Yuck!

• The Russians plan to take the Olympic Torch on a space walk.

Like most things in the history of the Russian space program, it will fail. fire in space. Has anyone told them that yet? Well, another several million rubles, or whatever they use for currency, down the tubes. While we laugh at them.

Been doing that for like 60 years now.

• Also from Russian science: we could be entering a 200-250 year period of global cooling, because the Sun seems to be entering a low activity phase.

Dumb Russians. When will they learn to leave the science and space stuff to us? Everyone knows that the Sun has absolutely nothing to do with the heating of the Earth. It's cars and factories. What idiots. We should send Al Gore over there to teach them science better.

You know, stuff like torches don't burn in outer space! Dumb stupid idiots.

• Also from Science! Rats apparently get sad during the winter.

Who knew, right? I mean, would you know that? How could you possibly ascertain whether a rat is sad or not?

Oh, I know, you could experiment on their close cousins: lawyers and politicians.

• Carry on smartly...

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha! Good morning Keln!

    I'm thinking sending Al Gore to Russia is a FANTASTIC idea! Think of the wisdom he could impart! Think of how thankful they would be! Think of how nice it would be to have him GONE :)