Friday, April 19, 2013

To Catch a Terrorist

Even though the terrorists are apparently Russiany-Islamy, the talking heads are still blathering about how they must be Tea Party right wing extremists who also happen to be Russiany-Islamy.  If that is the case, then it should be easy to catch the remaining terrorist.  Here is what they need to do.
·         Establish a tax-free zone in Boston, and wait for him to show up.
·         Bait some bear traps with Bibles.
·         Have all policeman wear fake Hitler mustaches to calm and soothe the Tea Party terrorist into thinking they are his friend.
·         Drive around town playing Ted Nugent really loudly and wait for him to come and sing along.
·         Announce a fake Glenn Beck rally and wait.
·         Announce that the Boston PD is giving out ‘get-out-of-Obamacare-free’ cards to the first five suspected terrorists who turn themselves in.
·         Tomorrow at noon. A free seminar on proper cross-burning and lynching techniques. And wait.
·         Have Barney Frank filibuster by performing his dramatic reenactment of 50 Shades of Grey until the terrorist agrees to turn himself in.
·         Threaten to turn Rand Paul over to the whims of the OWS crowd unless the terrorist turns himself in.

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