Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Give Me an I! Give Me an R! Give Me an S! What Does that Spell? Corruption!

Uh, oh.  I just got another Tax Court summons.  Looks like I’ve been targeted by the IRS.  I wonder why?  Is it because:
·         They found out I attended my 6 year old daughter’s tea party.
·         It turns out the tax benefit for purchasing a green vehicle has nothing to do with its color. 
·         I can’t claim the half dozen hobos I have shackled in my crawlspace as dependents.
·         I voluntarily gave to charity and not the government.
·         The lean-to in the backyard where I store the kids doesn’t count as a tax shelter.
·         Blade 1, 2 and 3 are in my Netflix queue.
·         Paying myself $20,000/year to homeschool my own kids cannot be written off as an education expense.
·         Purchasing copious copies of Twilight novels to repurpose them as toilet paper can’t be written off as a recycling project.
·         I’m not alleviated from the tax liability just because I’m selling those organs on the internet.
·         Nor am I alleviated from the tax liability just because I’m paid for those organs under the table in white slaves.
·         They expect me to pay FICA for each of my identities.
·         When I gift something to one of my other personalities, that isn’t considered a legally binding transaction for tax purposes.
·         Not all of the pharmaceutical products I buy or sell count as medical expenses.
·         I’ve been promoting homeschooling your hellions.
·         I mentioned Trig Palin in a post, so I must deserve punishment.  Oh, no.  I mentioned Trig again.  Oops, there was another one.
·         They found out I was guest blogging here.
[Cross posted at IMAO]

1 comment:

  1. Actually the white slavery thing should score you some immunity points...