Monday, May 13, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Obama's Vocabulary Lesson

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

As Soon As Obama Landed in Texas, Rick Perry…

#5 Zach : …gauged Barry’s ability to learn from history and suggested a visit to the JFK parade route.

#4 Writer … had the plane detoured to Detroit, so the President could admire the Democrapic Party in action.

#3 Oppo : ... warned him not to ride a girl’s bike with a crash helmet, or to try to throw a pitch around any Texans: “I b’lieve that’ll get yer a** kicked, president or no president.”

#2 a guy named Rob : …asked him, “you know this is Texas, right? Big Red state with all the oil? You really meant to land here? You sure?”

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Drew :

As Soon As Obama Landed in Texas, Rick Perry… said “You keep using that word “Recovery”. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Then he showed him what it means.

COOKIES to Drew!


So I got a response from Keln:

Challenge Accepted.

The game is on.  Just waiting to hear from Harvey. I'm sure, since I am the CURRENT judge, you will all wish ME luck. Right???   :P


I love it when you guys comment on my NP lines. :)  Here are my favorite responses to:

Why is the IRS targeting conservative groups?

#3 a guy named Rob : The IRS is not able to answer that question until after they consult with their mentor, Eric Holder.

#2 Rodney Dill ...cause conservatives have all the big ducks er... bucks.

and my favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks:

Why is the IRS targeting conservative groups?

...Because the IRS wants to promote those patriotic groups, showing what great Americans they are in their pursuit of freedom! (By the way, did you hear about Benghazi? All that violence over a video? Weird, huh?)

Choc Chip COOKIES to Bob in Feenicks!
(I need a new picture!)

Here's a new line for you to try:

What makes President Obama cry?


  1. ... a savory, slow-cooked Poodle Stew (just like Daddy Lolo used to make)

  2. (Off Topic) - a note on the Straight Line Challenge: in deference to Frank J's impending baby, I'd like to postpone the kickoff of the contest until at least a day after Frank's blessed event arrives so he has a day to bask in the congratulations before I switch the focus to another topic.

    Wouldn't be cricket to steal a man's limelight, you know :-)

  3. Ah, those Halcyon days when he was single and could smoke and eat red meat freely.

  4. ...the Muslim call to prayer in the morning - sounds like victory.

  5. When one of his lies lives on Because it is attacked, and YouTube videos blame him.

  6. For the competition addicted you might traipse over to Outside the Beltway where Rodney Dill has his photo caption contest. Maybe read an article or ten while you're at it.

    1. I agree! I've been practicing over there for my showdown with Keln. :)

    2. Thank you both for mentioning it. I've only shamelessly promoted it here a couple of times.... The OTB contest starts Monday mornings and Thursday morning, with winners usually announced Friday and Tuesday PM's respectively.

      Also has a Friday contest, and has a Friday contest that I alway aspire to win (though do so infrequently)

  7. The way the hunter had the right to shoot Bambi's mother.

    The way the guy in the movie had the right to shoot Old Yeller ... without even eating him.

    The tragedy that Terri Schiavo was allowed to live so gosh-darned long.

    The Benghazi tragedy. Some of his credibility was attacked, massacred, and died that night, dammit!

    When Michelle is feeling frisky.

  8. When he thinks that if he had a Wookie it would look like him. More like Mooshie but a little like him, a little bitty Chewbama. Sniff.

  9. ...I've found pliers applied liberally to the privates works wonders in this reqard.

    ...not being able to think of something to blame Bush for...

    ...when someone actually believes in the constitution.

    ...when an unwanted baby makes it to birth...

    ...when he found Joe Biden was smarter than he is.

  10. MicHELLe in heat.

  11. ...A beautiful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner sung by angels. No, wait... That just makes him nauseous.

    ...Biden leaving his legos on the bathroom floor where Barack can step on them barefoot in the middle of the night.

  12. ...The thought of Frank J. and SarahK bringing another Moon Nuker into the world.

  13. "Whaddya mean this time Bush has an alibi?"