Thursday, May 9, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - RINO on a DIET

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…

#5 Bob in Feenicks :  …won’t be submitting any punchlines to the straight line of the day. -No cookies for Chris Christie! [that is exactly right. No cookies for HIM! Chocolate chip cookies for Bob from yesterday!]

#4 Dohtimes : …is not going to a Olde Country Buffet until Sarah has her baby. [in a show of solidarity, I won't either. :) ]

#3 rodney dill : started attending R.O.U.S* Anonymous (*Republicans Of Unusual Size)  [ :) ]

#2 Apostic :…will change the state nickname to “The Garden Salad State.” [can I just say how much I hate garden salad?]

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Oppo:

In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie... underwent RINOplasty.

COOKIES to Oppo!
(Oppo, which kind do you like???)
(Btw, considering the judge and the subject I am amazed that not a single one of you mentioned Zumba. I'm just FLOORED!!!)


Ok, so I haven't heard from Keln about the challenge. Not a peep... Can you help me think of ways to convince Keln to participate in this?

I love it when you guys comment on my NP lines. :)  Here are my favorite responses to:

To what kind of Battle of Wits should Anonymiss challenge Keln?

#3 MrsCampbell : Judged contest: trivia, swimsuit and cookie eating.  [I think I may win this one...]

#2 can of spam .... all you have to do is figure out which cookie has the poison in it. Then you both eat, and one of you is right, and one of you is dead.

and my favorite line was from Harvey:

To what kind of Battle of Wits should Anonymiss challenge Keln?

Well, a long time ago, I challenged Frank J to a Battle o' the Funny:

Short version - everybody writes a funny Top 10 list, readers vote on the winner.

So, my suggestion is this: 

I write a straight line.

Anonymiss & Keln each submit their best 10 answers.

I'll post the lists at IMAO (without names) and ask the readers to vote for their favorite.

Winner gets gloating rights.

COOKIES to Harvey!

(So, I'd love it if you'd send us a straight line. Hopefully you guys will all vote! :) What kind of cookies do you like, Harvey?)

Here's a new line for you to try:

How will Obamacare improve marriages?


  1. No more going through the awkward, inconvenient process of choosing your own mate. From now on, a specially-appointed Love Panel will pick your significant other for you.

    Comes with optional free divorce insurance

    (NOTE: Insurance may actually be mandatory and expensive)

  2. The way it can improve everything--by being repealed.

  3. Nagging will take the place of doctors recommendations but now when the husband doesn't listen his penalty is decided by government gobbledygook.

  4. For women: an individual man-date.

    For men: massive new funding for the Department of Viagraculture.

    For couples: regulations outlawing honeymoon-nukers.

    And it'll keep Sandra Fluke busy, which can only be a win for everyone.

  5. How will Obamacare improve marriages? By... OH Look!!! SHINY!!!!

  6. ...Jodi Arias will be appointed the Compatibility Czar.

  7. commissioning studies that are only meant to determine that Obamacare improved marriages.

  8. By making it less punitive to be unmarried, especially with kids. Thus it will improve marriage about as well as it will improve health care.

  9. It will make sammiches illegal, preventing all of the martial spats that previously occurred because the dumb broad wouldn't just go make one like she was told.

  10. It will shame couples into staying together because it pretty much insures that one of the two will have a crippling medical condition before too long.

    1. *ensures <== Grammar Hammer applied to self.

  11. By taking all children as wards of the state, couples will get more sleep (and more "sleep"), making their marriage more content.

  12. (Btw, considering the judge and the subject I am amazed that not a single one of you mentioned Zumba. I'm just FLOORED!!!)

    [Mental image of Chris Cristie doing Zumba... GAAAAAAAHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!! I think you owe ALL of us cookies for that one.]

    1. Fair enough. Cookies for everybody!

      However, I have heard that just viewing zumba can be a healthful experience.


  13. All Liberals will be forced to marry another Liberal of the same gender (assuming "Liberal" isn't it own gender).