Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Flat Like a Bitter Pancake

In a speech at birth control deprived Georgetown University, President Obama chastised those who don't believe using an incandescent bulb in your refrigerator will wilt your arugula, saying, "The planet is warming. Human activity is contributing to it." "We know that the costs of these events can be measured in lost lives and lost livelihoods."

The President should know -- he's proven to be an expert in promoting lost livelihoods and flatlining job growth, unless, of course, you happen to be a fine-feathered fundraiser and score a "green job" at a cost of $11.4 million per job created

"We don't have time for a meeting of the flat-Earth society," Obama said. "Sticking your head in the sand might make you feel safer, but it's not going to protect you from the coming storm."

I should demand a consulting fee, as I believe I called this one recently.

You're welcome, Mr. President.
You need an ominous, invisible nebulous storm to worry about to distract your dwindling supporters from the myriad tempests that you've brought upon yourself and others. Keep them preoccupied with anything except the lightning that's hitting the outhouse (anybody else familiar with that old church joke?).

Speaking of flat things, it seems that those who make their living from the fear of hockey sticks are facing a much scarier scenario: some 17 years of flat global temperatures, during a time when CO2 levels are spiking.

Highway to the danger zone.

But let's not let a few facts get in the way of something that appears to be a naturally-occurring cycle in this administration, as illustrated below.


  1. i don't know that joke...

  2. JW, I barely remember it, but it's one my Mom used to tell. I've seen only a couple of versions of it online -- it goes something like this:

    An organist performing a recital develops a very bad case of gas, so he tells the audience that the title of the next song is "The Storm." During the dramatic piece, at strategic times, he leans on the keys, playing loud, thunderous passages to cover up the sounds of his own "passing," but the smell is overwhelming.

    While greeting the group as they left the building, asked what he thought of the music, one guy tells him, "It was very good, but I wish you'd left out the part where the lightning struck the s***house!"