Tuesday, June 4, 2013

I Swear I'm Not Racist

Recently I was eating dinner with friends at the best restaurant named for a sailor with a speech impediment and a rail thin girlfriend that another mentally handicapped man keeps trying to steal away.

If you still didn't pick up what I was layin down, I was at Popeyes fried chicken. When I hit my second piece like Jay Carney hits his CIA approved talking points I realized something. Barack Obama is a lot like fried chicken. When you see both of them your mouth starts to water and they are all you think about, but once you get inside, you realize its not really that good. You only really like the crispy skin.

At least I'm assuming his skin is crispy. For some reason he's never returned my letters asking him about it, and what his hair smells like. What a jerk!

To the uneducated this may sound like I'm being racist because I just compared a black man to fried chicken, but I have to remind you that he's half white, and I'm almost all white... so he and I have more in common than me and Al Sharpton. So that's something right?

All I'm sayin, is if you're an Obama supporter out there. Do you actually like fried chicken, or just the crispy part. If you're like me, you know the answer.

Also, I don't like Obama at all, I just wanted to be as racist sounding as possible. I think its my new thing. I wanna see how much trouble I can get Keln and the rest of the crew into. At the very least it should mean page views for a little while once the Daily Kos picks this up.


  1. I thought you were talking about Long John Thilvers for a thecond there.

  2. Someone thinking this is racist is the same type of person that sees everything as racist.

    And the analogy there was well done. Or crispy. Or whatever.

    And...how can you not like Popeye's chicken? I mean the chicken part too. I like all of it! And their taters and gravy. Those are awesome.

    Wish we had a Popeye's here.

  3. I like churches better... but yeah popeyes mashed potato's and gravy is super amazing.