Thursday, August 15, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - We Need A Gov't Program

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

In Order to Get People to Actually Read the Stories They Print, Newspapers...

#5 Fangbeer: ... Every issue delivered by English tutor, Spanish translator, and union thug (to get the message across)

#4 Jimmy: …are including lots of subliminal advertising in hard-to-read ink that say “Read Me!”

#3 James:...Have replaced Obama stories with Far Side cartoons (and nobody noticed).

#2 Karen: … have started hiding lottery numbers in the small print.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from walruskkkch:

In Order to Get People to Actually Read the Stories They Print, Newspapers...called on the Government to enforce a mandatory public newspaper reading meeting for every citizen in the morning, right before their soon to be called for mandatory calisthenics. [see Obamacare, page 3,456 paragraph 3 section 2A subclause ff.]

Cookies to walruskkkch!

Kiss up cookies to Bob in Feenicks

In Order to Get People to Actually Read the Stories They Print, Newspapers...…will print articles about healthcare substituting the word ‘Obamacare’ with ‘cookies’: “Pelosi says everybody should have cookies; Republicans try to repeal cookies again”

Kiss Up Cookies to Bob in Feenicks!


Go check out our new Bored Fusion series :) I give you pics of materials and the bored engineer's final product, and you give it a title. The newest one is Bored Fusion: What Do You Get? (4)  Go and submit your ideas. I'll post the winner and a new fusion tomorrow :)


My favorite NP punchlines:

The ratings of NBC's "MEET THE PRESS" hit 21 year low so... 

#3 Bob in Feenicks:...they sent both of their viewers a get well card, just in case.

#2 can of spam :... they started talking about "viewers saved or created" instead.

My favorite line was from rodney dill:

The ratings of NBC's "MEET THE PRESS" hit 21 year low so...They changed the name to MEET THE DEPRESSED.

Toffee Trifle to rodney dill!


Here's a new line for you to try:

China Zoo in trouble for disguising dog as lion. Next to be disguised...


  1. From my experience with Chinese restaurants - cat as chicken

  2. First Dog Bo. Hehehehe.

  3. Sorry, forgot the reference link:

  4. the President's terms in office as a rodeo clown. Oh, wait...

  5. ...was letting the Benghazi raid proceed unhindered by US resistance, another excuse for Reggie Love to get Obama to play cards. And he might have to interrupt his vacation for a marathon session of Crazy Eights this weekend if things get out of hand in Egypt.

  6. ... is a muslim in camelflage.

    ... is his murderous death cult as a "Religion of Peace."

    ... is Obama's prayer breakfast as a dog and phony show.

    ... is Blitzer appearing on The Fox Report: a Wolf in Shep's Clothing.

    ... (Credit to HokieGamer!) Obama as a rodeo clown: "Incognito Ergo Sum."

  7. ... is a cow as the big cheese: Undercover Bossy.

    ... Lucy in Disguise With Diamonds.

    ... Costume Jewry.

    ... The Masque of the Red Death Panels.

    ... A shredder. Oh yes, it's the Grate pretender.

  8. ...Bullcrap as a unicorn, aka Obamacare.

    ...Al Gore as ManBearPig. I'm super cereal!