Thursday, August 22, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

HHS Is Offering Cash Prizes for the Best Pro-Obamacare Video. The Winning Video…

Anonymiss: ...will not be NEARLY as clever, captivating or crazy as the lines you guys wrote. :)

OH MY. You guys were ALL on a roll. My suggestion? Go get a big bowl of hot buttery popcorn and read the whole list. Don't skip the links. There are SO MANY gems. You don't want to miss a single one :)

Here are a few of my favorites (in no particular order and certainly not all inclusive):

HHS Is Offering Cash Prizes for the Best Pro-Obamacare Video. The Winning Video...

can of spam: … producer can use the prize money to offset about half of his increased health care costs.

walruskkkch: ...gets a waiver.

rodney dill: ...will be named ‘ZombieLand,’ Don’t let a little thing like death slow you down.

D***Cat: ...…will win the for Oscar best dictatorial debut.

Smilin' Jack: …will be used as anesthesia for all Obamacare surgeries.

jw: …will show “healthcare” being provided by the same efficient, friendly folks who staff your local DMV.

Oppo: [will be titled]  Dr. Detroit

FormerHostage:  [will be titled]:  Apocalypse Now delayed until 2015

Dohtimes: …will show Chris Christie’s last yearly check-up with a somber voice at the beginning saying “This is not a warning, this is an actual fat guy who failed to follow Michelle Obama’s advice”.

Maverick: … features Dean Winters (as ‘Mayhem') “I’m the death panel bureaucrat assigned to your case, and I’m having a pretty spectacular Tuesday…”

Cookies to All
 You Clever Guys :) 

and walruskkkch gets kiss up cookies for his line: 

HHS Is Offering Cash Prizes for the Best Pro-Obamacare Video. The Winning Video…gets COOKIES! 

Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch!


While you're still on a roll, don't forget to go submit a name for the cRaZy new Bored Fusion 7: What Do You Get...  (You'll like it. It's dangerous :)


My favorite NP punchlines:

Inspired by an Asian airline offering "child-free quiet zones" President Obama....

#3 Oppo :.... doubled federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

#2 Bob in Feenicks :...declared the Oval Office a "Biden-Free Quiet Zone"

My favorite line was from Ern:

Inspired by an Asian airline offering "child-free quiet zones" President Obama... has made his entire administration an "adult-free zone".

Toffee Trifle to Ern!


Here's a new line for you to try:

Desperate retailers begin Christmas sales in August. This year's hot sellers...


  1. reindeer scented suntan lotion

  2. reindeer scented suntan lotion

  3. Global Warming™ brand hockey sticks

  4. ...Obamacare waivers.
    ...NSA-Approved Tinfoil Hats.
    ...Anonymiss No-Bake Cookies (available only until she get's her oven repaired)

  5. ...include Obamacare, which Obama has to keep selling because he broke it, we bought it and it can never be paid for.

    ...the 2014 Liberal calender, featuring Miss December, Chelsea Manning.

    ...the hot new toy: Bob the Unemployed Builder action figure. Complete with sofa and bottle of anti-depressant meds and empty beer cans.

  6. ...Reggie Love's "Crisis Card Games", endorsed by President Obama.

    ...the new reality game, Trouble.

  7. Secret Service Ho Ho Hos

  8. ... Trayvon Martin doll, by Hadbro. (Too soon?)

    ... Adult Concealed Baby Monitors, by *NSAFUN!* :), a division of the NSA.

    ... Mister Microphone. [Just put it in your house and don't ask any questions.]

    ... Trivial Pursuit -- MSM edition.

    ... Shoots and Ladders -- Biden edition.

    ... Tuck Me In Elmo [btw, is that guy still working for them?]

  9. ... Super Spyrograph.

    ... Pound Puppies*
    *"The President's favorite pastime!"

    ... Hispanic Barbie's DREAM House.

    ... Lyin' "L" Train Set
    (tracks to be completed in 2050).

  10. ...Arugula Patch Kids. If Obama had sons, these are what they would look like.

    ...Transgenders -more than meets the eye.