Sunday, September 22, 2013

Movie Notes: Riddick

Okay, I admit it; I like Vin Diesel, at least in this role. I did even when I was a  fat, old, straight, white man, and I still do now that I'm a svelte, young, black lesbian. Vin Diesel as Riddick could turn a lesbian straight.

I also admit that, though The Chronicles of Riddick was kind of overblown and strange, I think Pitch Black is one of the best horror movies ever. Call me crazy.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this movie, as well. 

I'll tell you why.Riddick starts out poorly. The first twenty minutes are strange and slow. There are a number of things that strain even MY willing suspension of disbelief. The events seem a little disjointed and random. BUT. There are a few things that set up things in latter parts of the movie, so you can't really skip this one, even though you might start thinking, "Gee, this really sucks. Did I just waste the price of a ticket?" Stick with it: It gets better. Plus, in the first couple minutes: Nekkid female boobs, briefly. So, there's that.

Anyway, about twenty minutes in, the good part starts: Riddick, alone on a deserted desert planet, calls down bounty hunters who want to collect the price on his head. See, he's wanted, dead or alive. Preferably dead. And that's where the fun begins: The movie becomes a twist on the standard crazed-mass-murderer-with-an-axe-hunts-people-who-have-no-hope-of-escape flick. The twist is, you're supposed to root for the axe murderer. And he doesn't have an axe. Or anything, really, except for his zebra dog sort of thing that he gets early in the movie.

Then, the movie takes another twist, and becomes a variation in the Pitch Black monster movie that started the whole Riddick thing. This also is a lot of fun, and pretty scary and a whole lot of how-are-they-going-to-get-out-of-THIS-one type thrills. So, really, two movies in one.

When the movie ended, I sat there thinking, "Is that IT? Is it over ALREADY?" But then I looked at the time and saw that I'd been in the theatre for well over two hours. After the slow first part, the whole rest of the movie barely felt as long as that first part did. Which is a good thing for an action/horror movie. Fast-paced, intense action, thrills, chills and spills: What more could anyone ask?

I have to note: This one is Rated R for pretty good reason. Beyond the initial boobs in the opening, there are two more very nice ones on character named (preposterously, yet appropriately) Dahl, played by an actress who is apparently quite well known to geeks from the new Battlestar Galactica series, which, I admit with some embarrassment/pride, I have never seen. (Embarrassment because I'm a geek, pride because I'm apparently not THAT much of a geek). 

There are a TON of f-bombs dropped, in a number of rather colorful ways, and, though the blood and gore is MOSTLY limited to abstract smears on rocks, and various pools and puddles, there is one killing that truly stands out as both bloody, gory, and totally awesome. The dude totally got what he deserved. No spoilers from me: you gotta see it to believe it,

So, if you're a fan of big action/sci-fi/horror movies, I'd say check it out on the big screen. If you liked Pitch Black, you'll probably find it worth the price of admission, even at a first-run theatre. It's mostly fast, fun and exciting. If you don't like big action/sci-fi/horror movies, what's wrong with you, anyway? 

Bonus: I also went to see Now You See Me,both on the recommendation our own, lovely Anonymiss, and the absolutely hilarious review by Ace at AoSHQ. To both, I say: I heartily concur. It should be on DVD soon and is worth a look-see.

Iron Man 3 was not as good as 1, but better than 2. It's always worth a gander to see Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. One of the best comic-book movie (not-so-)secret identities ever, played to the hilt.

Man of Steel was actually a surprise, as it look like it was going to be a morose, brooding, angst-filled drag from the previews, but was actually quite entertaining and fun. It also is worth a rental, since it's likely due out on DVD pretty soon.

Turbo, the kids movie about a speedy snail, was mostly eh, from an adult standpoint, but from a seven-year-old boy standpoint? It was stand-up-in-the-movie-theatre-and-yell-at-the-screen-awesome. And it didn't have very much of the gross humor that seems to be standard in kids' movies today. A few dark humor moments that I thought were pretty funny, but not too much on the gross. So, if you have kids...

1 comment:

  1. It's as dumb as you can get, but it's still a bunch of fun and I think that's all that matters with something as cheesy as this. Good review Arik.