Sunday, October 20, 2013

Joe Biden Found. Everybody Stop Looking

The mystery of Joe Biden's unexplained absence from the Washington scene the last three weeks has been solved.  

Since October 1st, Joe Biden has been suspiciously absent from the government kabuki marathon that surrounded the "shutdown" and the budget crisis.  Probably hanging out in the Hamptons, you say?  If that's what you thought, you gave our Number 2 guy far too little credit, it seems.

Mr. Biden has apparently been very busy in Mexico helping to keep a lid on the drug cartel  activities there, and suppressing the "chatter" about Fast and Furious, (something about a secret mission for the DOJ), as we can deduce from this latest incident in Los Cabos:

A senior drug cartel honcho was shot in the head and killed at a birthday party, not by the Mexican special forces, not by rival gang members in kevlar, not by a gang of bandidos that swept down from the hills, but by...wait for it......  .... a birthday clown.

The absence of our Vice President from the Washington crisis, and the sudden, simultaneous appearance of a murderous clown at a birthday party attended by cartel members...the timing is just a little too perfect, I think.

Eyewitness accounts say the killer, along with about 22 other clowns piled into a Prius with US government plates and an Obama bumper sticker and fled the scene, accelerating to speeds of nearly 30 MPH, hurtling through the streets of Los Cabos to a waiting helicopter, whence they disappeared in a northerly direction. 

Pictures of the assailant and one of his sidekicks obtained from witnesses were correlated with an NSA facial recognition database, resulting in a 99.2% match with file photos of the VP.   


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