Nuke the Punchline - Cookies vs. ummm...Whiskers?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Your Analogy, Please: Obamacare as Promised vs. Obamacare as Delivered:

Oh my gosh you guys out did yourselves this time! The lines were so funny that it was nearly impossible to narrow down. Here are a sampling of my favorites (but go read all of them!)

#10 rodney dill: …as bacon is to arugula…

#9 Bob in Feenicks:…”An important message from Little Orphan Annie” vs. “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine”

#8 Bob B.  Promised: Taxes     Delivered: Death

#7 blarg: ..hot dog at the ballpark vs. hot dog at Obama’s house

#6 Burt:  Promised: a life preserver     Delivered: an anchor

#5 Jimmy:  NASA’s Apollo program -vs.- NASA’s Muslim outreach program.

#4 Iowa Jim:  Promised: Jaclyn Smith at age twenty-eight     Delivered: Helen Thomas at age eighty-two

#3 FormerHostage:  Promised: The grace and beauty of the Russian Ballet     Delivered: Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell fighting over the last cheese stick at an all-you-can-eat truck stop.

#2 walruskkkch:  Promised:Marilyn Monroe     Delivered:Marilyn Manson    [also had a long list of zingers]

And my favorite straight line of the day was from can of spam [who had at least a dozen other awesome lines. Go read them! :)]

Your Analogy, Please: Obamacare as Promised vs. Obamacare as Delivered:
Promised: Anonymiss
Delivered: Harvey (not that there’s anything wrong with that?)

 Cookies to can of spam!

and today's best kiss uppers were walruskkkch, FormerHostage, Jimmy, can of spam, and James:

Your Analogy, Please: Obamacare as Promised vs. Obamacare as Delivered

walruskkkch: ...Anonymiss Cookies vs Mass produced cookies with walnuts.  [ooooh that was a good one]

FormerHostage:…is like warm, soft, chewy, fresh from the oven tollhouse cookies vs. Keebler Elf poop disks.
…is as cookies promised vs. bran muffins delivered.

Jimmy:...A plateful of cookies vs. the last cookie on the plate. Wait. Who ate the cookies. Walrus?  [if you left walrus alone with cookies... :)]
...Christmas cookies -vs.- fruitcake

can of spam:...Promised: Cookies   Delivered: Crumbs  :(

James:...Dinner with Sarah Michelle Geller consisting of a well-marbled steak (grilled rare), baked potato with sour cream, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and plate of Anonymiss’ world famous cookies for dessert vs. dinner with Michelle Obama consisting of tofu and beansprout surprise, water, and lime flavored diet Jell-O

Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch,
FormerHostage, Jimmy, 
can of spam and James!

________________________

My favorite lines from yesterday:

States like Florida have "Food Stamp Recruiters" who have a quota to sign up 150 new recipients per month. Other quotas...

#3 Harvey.:  Disability "recruiters", who increase the eligibility pool by tire-ironing at least 150 patellas a month.

#2 Oppo:.... involve laborers whose job it to remove the capital "D" from EBT cards, before they are issued.

and my favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks:

States like Florida have "Food Stamp Recruiters" who have a quota to sign up 150 new recipients per month. Other quotas...the minimum number of race cards they have to play.

Cookies to Bob in Feenicks!

The best NP kisser uppers: walruskkkch, can of spam & Bob B.

States like Florida have "Food Stamp Recruiters" who have a quota to sign up 150 new recipients per month. Other quotas...

Rodney Dill.:  Plates of Anonymiss' cookies eaten by a certain Walrus per day.

Kiss up Cookies to Rodney Dill!

________________________

Here's a new line for you to try:

The national debt jumps a record $328 billion in one day. Also jumping...