Monday, October 28, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Potent with an Omni in Front

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…

#5 Bob B.:…that indecision is crippling the whole world – “Whatcha wanna do?” “I dunno, what you wanna do?” was heard endlessly in 6500 different languages.

#4 tinman:  … that 53% of us are peaceful, God-fearing, law-abiding folk who take responsibility for our actions and have dreams of a better future for our children – and for some reason this really pisses off liberals.

#3 Bob in Feenicks:…just because Biden is alone in a room talking with a bluetooth device in his ear doesn’t mean there’s anyone on the line with him.

#2 Karen:  … That there is a lot of dark chatter about something called a ‘church picnic’.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Burt:

The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…Ernestine is hard to beat for the Employee of the Month. [A Must-Watch for your Monday :)]

 Cookies to Burt!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam, Jimmy, Karen, James and tinman:

The NSA Recorded Information on 124 Billion Phone Calls in One Month. They Learned…

can of spam: … Anonymiss’ top secret cookie recipes.

Jimmy…that five of them were mine trying to reach Miss Anony about promised cookie deliveries.

Karen:… That whoever thought of putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies works at Pizza Hut now, and seems to be in charge of putting pineapple on bacon pizzas. 

James:. . . that Anonymiss mulches her garden with both walnut shells and the walnuts themselves. [:) Actually, I prefer avoiding walnuts at all costs. :) I mulch my flower garden with cocoa bean hulls. They smell like chocolate]

tinman:… that AnonyMiss makes really great cookies (at least that’s what the chatter indicates, since they haven’t any personal experience in this matter.) [Poor tinman!]

Kiss up cookies to can of spam,
Jimmy, Karen, James and tinman!

My favorite line from yesterday was from Dohtimes:

Obama wants the marines to spend over $8 Million to make their hats more "unisex". He also...will spend whatever it takes to find footwear that matches the new battle capris and sparkly tank tops they will be fighting in.

Cookies to Dohtimes!

Here's a new line for you to try:

States may require black boxes in cars that tally the miles driven and tax you accordingly. The boxes also...


  1. ...are guaranteed to work better than the Obamacare sign-up site. No, seriously. You can totally trust us on this one.

  2. .... are racist, according to Jesse Jackson. (Or are they race-ist?)

  3. ... will disable your turn signals when driving in the Boston area, so you can fit in with the locals.

  4. ... give off a delicious aroma when they're ripped out and tossed on a bonfire.

  5. ...make every turn a left turn.

    ...automatically cancel your Obamacare coverage the microsecond before a crash, assuming you are the fortunate few that got coverage.

  6. detect if you're gaining wieght, and will post videos on your HUD of Moo-chelle lecturing you on what you should eat.

  7. ...*app hang*, *disconnect*

    ...forward the data to the website, where navigators will issue stern alerts to stop driving so much and walk a little!

  8. ...will tally your votes in all future elections so these ------------ (whatevers) can't be voted out of office.

  9. uncounted Florida ballots from the 2000 election