Monday, November 11, 2013

Belated Nuke the Punchline - For Bob B.

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of one from a heckuva long time ago when I was really busy :P

President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…


#5 FormerHostage: …just like he found the best and brightest for Vice President, and Secretary of State, and IRS Commissioner, and….

#4 Basil:… because the the Good and the Beautiful were busy traveling to a planet of really small people.

#3 tanstaafl: ...but he was informed that the guys from “big bang theory” were just actors.

#2 rodney dill: …he doesn’t understand Dakota Indian Tribal Wisdom…
The tribal wisdoms of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that ‘when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount’. However, in many companies as well as in the government a range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1.Changing riders (higher better expert riders)
2.Appointing a committee to study the horse
3.Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses
4.Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included
5.Reclassifying the dead horse as ‘living impaired’.
6.Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse
7.Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed
8.Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance
9.Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance
10.Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the mission of the organisation than do some other horses
11.Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses…
12.Announcing there’s a phone number to help you learn how to ride the dead horse…
13.Proclaiming you don’t have any Horse Death Panels.
14.Blaming the previous horse rider (Bush)

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from Bob B.:

President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…but most of Kennedy’s people are long dead, so no dice.

 Cookies to Bob B.!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage, walruskkkch and Bob in Feenicks:

President Obama vowed to hire the “best and brightest” to fix the Obamacare sign-up website…

FormerHostage:… Part of the critera is that they had to have won at least one of Anonymiss’ cookies. [IMAO guys *are* the best and the brightest. Not sure the POTUS sees light the same way we do, though]

walruskkkch:...unfortunately they were busy trying to kiss up for some Anonymiss cookies so he got the OK and the somewhat illuminated. [At best.]

Bob in Feenicks.:…and they discovered the problem: people preferred Anonymiss’ cookies to’s tracking cookies.[I should hope so!]

Kiss up Cookies to FormerHostage,
walruskkkch, and Bob in Feenicks!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymiss, don't blame yourself! I blame Harvey for initially listing his SLOTD as a One-Shot...
    ...I'll be going back on my meds now, I promise...
    You are the best!