A Roach by Any Other Name

ISIS? ISIL? Ebola? Hansel? It’s just too confusing. The French, who are really good at ticking people off, are now taking a cue from IS detractors in the Middle East and calling them “Daesh,” an acronym of the formal name for the group, which apparently conveys a few insulting connotations.

Of course, the subjects of the contempt are a tad miffed, and by now, everyone knows what their standard threat of punishment is for everything from looking at them wrong to dissing their favorite goats. (hint: you’d only wish you ended up more intact than one of Lois Lerner’s hard drives)

I’ve come up with another four-letter acronym that I believe better reflects the essence of the movement’s adherents, and I’ve even taken the liberty of redesigning their flag. I’m sorry, guys, but sheesh — you come from the same region of the world where they developed geometry, but you can’t even draw a decent circle? It looks like you hacked up the cloth with a ... never mind.

Apologies to the Japanese truck manufacturer of the same name.