Saturday, August 1, 2015

Parenthetical Headlines

Today's actual headlines, slightly embellished subheadings.

(still no trace of Obama’s College records)
(still one billion times faster than rising sea levels)
(when yours is only open fifteen minutes a week)
(yes, when she starts cussing after getting caught lying, longshoremen take notes)
(got a job gutting fish at a processing plant after Planned Parenthood turned her down)
(researchers hope to solve shortage of IRS agents)
(related article: work tips for vacationaholics)

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