Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Deutschland Uber Alles?

Oder Deutschland Uber Islam?  Ja oder Nein?

Germany Above All Else?

Or Germany Over Islam?  Yes or No....

(Es tut mir sehr Leid. Ich habe kein Umlaut.)

Seeing the current state of affairs in Germany regarding the mass
influx of Muslims, memories of my youth are stirred up and I can't help
but ponder what led me to sign up for Herr Zvonkin's German class
in my freshman year of public high school in California.

Maybe it was my buddy, Danny Haberman, who I'd been with through
six years of Roman Catholic elementary and junior high school.

Most of those years as altar boys, some of those years as actors in
theater productions when the school could afford it,
(one year we did the youth version of Hamlet, I played Piglet)
but, all those years as scholastic "top dogs."

We always had a healthy competitive friendship.

Everything from, to and in between -

who could clang the incense burning chamber louder against
the support chain in church during the sacred Novenas

who snuck the first taste of altar wine in the sacraments storage room

who got in first to make confession with the visiting priest, to not have to
go to the priests who lived in our rectory since they all knew us in the
confessional booth by our poorly modified voices and lusty deeds

who would get a bigger tip when assisting the priests with funerals,
(funeral folks always paid way higher tips than wedding folks,
and after paying for a wedding much, much later in life,
understand why, not that funerals are inexpensive)

who could eat more hot dogs at the annual clergy
and altar boy BBQ at Newport Dunes Beach

who could speak out or sing their lines more forcefully in a play

who was first to gush out an answer to Sister Mary Iva Tengel's
homework or flashcard questions

who would get the highest score on each test

who would be the last man standing in spelling bees

who would win the highly coveted Blue and Gold
Scholastic Achievement Award for best student of the year

who could fold the flag faster, tighter and Marine perfect at day's end,
just as we were taught by the fellas from the local recruiting station

Our flag stewardship went kaput the day that we were training a new recruit.
It was Johnny Johnston, the craziest wildest youngster in the school.

Johnny could ride his bicycle seven feet up a maple tree!
Yeah, right up the trunk!

Anyway, on her supposed trip to the little girls' room for an unscheduled
tinkle, Sister Tengel caught Johnny using the flag to lasso the
flagpole base, while jumping rope with it at the same time.

To this day my wife still chuckles when she sees the belt stripe my dad levied
on my derriere. I can't see it. But I sure can feel the slight indent.

Later, we heard through the grapevine that Johnny's wealthy parents agreed
to pay four times the normal tuition to keep him in our school.

So, at this point I'm asking myself just what you're probably asking me.


There's an odd juxtaposition here (love that word, don't know what it means,
always wanted to use it though) of my ancient Catholic school history and
current events in Germany (and most of Europe) that are potentially
going to demolish a proud and beautiful longstanding culture.

And, based on the opening question about Islam, I'm certain most Germans
care about the massive infiltration and the fate of their country.

Only time and a firm measured response can answer where it goes.

As for Danny and me, it was the proud beautiful culture that attracted us.

Herr Zvonkin represented all the great qualities of German character.

Bold, jovial, congenial, deliberate, methodical.

He determined to imbue in us a passion for not just the language,
but an appreciation for the historical soul of the country.

With a manner like the nation itself, industrious, disciplined and always
ready to bellow out a beer hall song, Herr Zvonkin achieved his goal.

He's the greatest teacher I ever had and he definitely affected me for life.
Wherever Danny Haberman is in this world, I'm sure he feels the same.

To this day, I can still sing one of the songs he taught us when singing
or doing illustrative speaking in front of the class every Friday.

Regardless of not remembering what the song means, at the end of this post
I will attempt to write the song from memory, only for the comical???
entertainment value for my German brothers and sisters.


And please bear in mind, I realize half the populace of the United States
is mindlessly and vigorously marching down the "poor refugees"
path Germany has been treading on for quite some time.

However, we're nowhere near your disastrous level. Not yet.

So it begs the question.

Germany, how did it come to this?

Do you lay it at the feet of your Chancellor, the last great bastion
of Germany's sovereignty and prosperity?

Is it true that some of you believe she has a devious nature
with a demonic plan, and in private circles you refer to her as
"Mengele" Merkel, the more evil twin of George Soros?

Is there possibly a far simpler explanation than a devious nature?

Chancellor Merkel's poor judgment has definitely resulted in less
security and stability in what has been one of the most wealthy,
prosperous and safe nations on the planet,
a nation passionately enjoyed by citizens and tourists alike.

Could it be that Merkel simply over imbibes on the world famous
adult German beverages we've all come to love?

Perhaps her substantial poor judgment is directly related to the
massive volume of her daily consumed liquid stress relief.

Maybe after two or so she should think about downsizing the order.

Now I'm no one to judge, mind you. I've consumed more than my
fair share over the years but, I'm not running a country either.

I certainly wouldn't let these impolite boys in my septic tank,
let alone my home or my country.

It's very important to keep your septic tank free from
non degradable fecal forms that clog the normal
flow and end up monopolizing the leech lines.

Apparently, letting in these kinds of miscreants in Germany isn't
the only poor judgment Chancellor Merkel displays
in her semi-permanent state of inebriation.

She appears to desire a new beau every time she drinks alone
or with someone. And then, there's her Muslim allure.

When she noticed Obama glancing at her bosom region,
she scurried close enough to see his lips aren't
actually the shade of purple she dislikes.

Inevitably, she let him have a shot at the prize!

The color wasn't abhorrent but, to her dismay, the taste was like a
rancid Gewurztraminer that the vinegar jar wouldn't accept.

Realizing camel dung falafel breath isn't her cup of Arabica,
she made an attempt on the vodka master himself.

When Vladimir rejected her, she had no problem
showing him the door out of the country.

Next she tried George W but quickly found out he has an allergic
reaction to sauerkraut and stale beer breath.

It causes him to vacillate between nervous laughter, uncoordinated
dancing attempts and repeated expressions of wanting to kiss
Michelle Obama's violet lips and hold her hand all night.

Merkel threw him out of the country for acting like a
dorky teen on his first psychedelic mushroom trip.

Not one to give up on achieving a less than stellar goal
for her side life of lust and brewmance,
Merkel came up with a bright idea.

She dolled herself up and targeted Donald Trump, knowing
he's likely to be the next president of the United States.

Trump, in his normal polite fashion, told Merkel he was flattered by her
offer and if Melania ever left him, he'd for sure get a touch with her.

Merkel gave him the Trump thumbs up and fell back on an old comrade.

She knew she wasn't licked yet, so, she went back
to her old friend that had handled her through
some of the most emotional times of her life.

Hillary probably wouldn't become president but,
she could definitely help her put her finger
in the dike to stop the flow of tears.

So, Chancellor Merkel's emotional quagmire is quelled for the moment.

Which begs the next question.

Germany, what will you do about the Islam issue?

We United States patriots are watching closely, seeing how we're
only several years and a few massive migrations behind you.

We're certain what we don't want to happen here.

Regardless of -

an increase of available dental care

an increase of available internal organs for saving lives

the long term cost savings by removing Obamacare Death
Panel decision making from federal bureaucrats

a major deterrent and decrease of sexual assaults
with this new clever law enforcement technique

We KNOW we don't want this!

Because we never want THIS to happen again!

So, I'll be contacting my congressional representatives with a couple of
ideas for legislative action to assimilate Muslims into American life.

Requirements for every Muslim -

Give it a name, raise as a pet, butcher and eat one of these annually.

Participate annually in their county, state and national
Coney Island style Polish dog eating competition.

Submit to random inspections by new Muslim Administrative Directors
to maintain required assimilation licenses and registration.

These directors would be well paid and highly trained professionals
who take their jobs seriously and would arrive unannounced
in any undercover attire they deem necessary.

Would any Muslim, or anyone for that matter,
be uncooperative with this agent?

Well, we've reached the end of this post, thank goodness.

It's been my pleasure to share some ideas and hopefully
provoke some thought for answering the question,

Deutschland Uber Islam?

And in case you're curious, this post came about when I saw that some
folks in Germany had viewed this blog and, one thing led to another...

So, to all my German brothers and sisters -

Vielen Dank!

Herr Zvonkin would be proud of you.

God bless you and keep you.

And God bless the great nation of Germany!

Now, as I promised near the beginning of this post,
the beer hall song from Herr Zvonkin's class,
strictly from memory. Forgive the spelling.

The melody and lyrics of this song will stick with me til I die.

Herr Zvonkin was awesome!

Even though, as I said earlier, I can't remember what it means.

ENGLISH SPEAKERS - probably a wise time to exit

GERMAN SPEAKERS - probably a wise time to exit


Du, du liebst mir im herzen

Du, du liebst mir im zin

Du, du machst mir viel schmelzen

Weiss nicht viel gut Ich dir bin

(here's where Danny and I would totally blast it out)

Ja, Ja, Ja, Ja !!!

Weiss nicht viel gut Ich dir bin


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