Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Pontificating on the future

Most people don’t know this, but I was in a devastating car accident 3 years ago. At the time I was half way though my Slurpee and had a great deal of brain freeze. Due to the combination of head trauma from both the extreme cold as well as the airbag being deployed directly to my forehead. The amazing thing about this is I was able to vaguely see in to the future. With this new found power and responsibility, I now will share with you some of my predictions.

#1 In an effort to out inexperience Obama, Romney will vet and select Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson as his running mate. This will allow him to secure the coveted WWE demographic, as well as put a natural orator on the stump with him.

#2 In an effort to counter Romney, Obama will dump Joe Biden, and also nominate the Rock as vice president. This successive nomination will create the ultimate win win situation for everyone in America, except “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

#3 Israel and Palestine will kiss and make up after realizing that Kosher, and Halal are practically the same thing.

#4 By August 28th gay marriage will be banned, and overturned in the California supreme court 8 times. Only the people of California will notice.

#5 Romney will out fund raise Obama by about 10%. Obama will cry about it.

#6 Obama will never mention that he out raised McCain almost 3-1 in 08.

So those are just some of my predictions. What are yours?

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