Thursday, August 2, 2012


Did you know that every phone conversation a senator makes is recorded, just in case he’s working with a terrorist organization (read: current TV), or some other un-American group?  It’s true, totally true. I am not making this up at all, and I wish I was.  One of the reasons I’ve been kind of absent around here is because I’ve been dealing with my “source” for these transcripts.  I wish I could give you their name, but in the name of journalistic integrity I wont do that; it just wouldn’t be right.  Kinda like Reid making up blatant lies about Mitt.

So without further ado,   I now present the Harry Reid pone transcripts; Bain edition.


(It’s a dark and stormy night, senator Reid is sitting at his desk, trying not to do racist things like he usually does when he’s bored and confused.  The phone rings.)

Reid:  “Hello”

Bain investor:  “Hello senator, how are you this evening?"

Reid:  “I’m fine; I’m just sitting around trying to figure out how to blame the republicans for my own incompetence again.  You know that they’re a lot of people who believe me when I say it’s their fault?"

BI:  “Yes senator, they're called democrats. You can tell them pretty much anything and they will believe it. Like for example, Barack Obama told people that his nomination for the presidency meant that global warming was going to stop. Talk about gullible."

Reid:  “I’ve been in the senate for nearly 136 years. You don’t need to tell me about gullible.  I mean I am so old, I owned slaves."

BI:  “Yeah I remember you telling me that. Hey, the reason I called you..."

Reid:  “Is this about the new year’s party?  I told you, send me the bill for the blood and vomit and I will take care of the dry cleaning.  I swear I thought she was just a hooker (makes air quotes at just a hooker) and the stabbing was going to be a big joke."

BI:  “No, that’s not why I called, but I will get that bill sent over to you.  The reason I called is because, I have it on good authority that Mitt Romney hasn’t paid any taxes in about 10 years."

Reid:  "Really?  How do you know this, did he tell you?"

BI:  "Well no actually, I only met him once at an investors meeting, we talked for 2 minutes or so about polo, so I didn’t hear it from him."

Reid: “Well then, who did you hear it from?"

BI:  “I heard it from a guy, who heard it from another guy, who once cleaned the office for Mitt’s accountant."

Reid:  “This is some pretty earth shattering stuff you got for me; I better sit on this until a very opportune time."

BI:  “OK Harry, that’s all I got for you now, I’ll call you later in the week and we can go do something racist and blame it on Republicans."

Reid:  “Sounds good to me, peace out homie."


1 comment:

  1. With apologies from George Bernard Shaw:

    “How can what a DEMOCRAT believes be hearsay? It is a contradiction in terms.”