Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Newsweek's Gone Nuts

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Newsweek's gone nuts, their latest cover...

#5 Manolo: ...comes with its own fish to wrap in it.

#4 Son of Bob: certain to anger both of their readers.

#3 blarg: ...blames last week’s cover on Bush.

#2 hadsil: a cover of nuts – walnuts, peanuts, cashews, and Joe Biden.

And the best punchline goes to Laurence Simon: 

Newsweek's gone nuts, their latest cover is just a TIME magazine cover, with TIME crossed out and NEWSWEEK written under it in crayon.

Congratulations Laurence Simon!

Now here's a line for you guys to meddle with:

If you donate to Obama within the next 48 hours, you get...!


  1. and even worse ROI than America got on GM stock.

  2. oh noos,
    do they not remember this?
    National Lampoon

  3. . . . a government certified "I helped build this by donating to Obama" bumper sticker.

  4. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:09 PM

    some sense beat into you by a pillowcase full of batteries.

  5. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    a little more poor.

  6. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:14 PM

    a limited edition jar of Uncle Joe's Special Paste, now with a fun, edible dipping stick.

  7. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    a lock of Joe's hair plug along with a personalized, plagarized thank you note from the VP.

  8. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:17 PM

    a free Quran, prayer rug and kilo of C4.

  9. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 22, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    a fatal case of buyer's remorse.

  10. a bowl of soup... but you know, not good soup. its the kind of soup you don't mind having, but you don't ever really want.

    oh also you have to give 39.5% of the soup back to him.

  11. ...the antidote to the poison we just spiked your water supply with.

  12. a chance to win an evening at the White House with Barack and Michelle to enjoy a wonderful vegetarian, low-fat, portion restricted, environmentally sustainable dinner cooked personally by Mayor Bloomberg. Second prize is two dinners.

  13. another 48 hours to donate again!

  14. a free condom with your next donation. (But it's only a cheap mass produced one with Sandra Fluke's phone number printed on it).