Thursday, August 23, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: President Obama Opened a Restaurant

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

President Obama opened up a restaurant...

#5 TexasPatrick: ...It served “Korean Style” hot dogs…PETA could not be reached for comment.

#4 Lactose the Intolerant: ...called 'How Much is that Doggie in the Window'.

#3 Invader: ...and went wokin’ the dog.

#2 Charon: ...He found out business is a dog eat dog world.

And the best punchline goes to Son of Bob:

President Obama opened up a restaurant. Now he’s just working on a name. Right now, it’s between Boston Terrier Market, Jack Russel Terrier In The Box, Beagle King or Taco Briard. Either way, it’s easy to find…just look for the Golden Retriever arches.

Congratulations, Son of Bob!

Yeah, there were a lot of bacon-grade punchlines in that one, but I favored the dog jokes, because that still makes me laugh.

Now here's a line for you guys to play with:

To disrupt the GOP convention, Joe Biden...


  1. will ask everyone in wheelchairs to stand up

  2. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 23, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    will show up as planned.

  3. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 23, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    will be arriving in blackface and passing out the chains to all the African Americans in attendance.

  4. Lactose the IntolerantAugust 23, 2012 at 7:18 PM

    will be regaling the audience with the explict details of his intimacy with eight presidents, including the presentation of uncensored footage from Whitehouse security feeds.

  5. Will perform unplugged.

  6. will sing "This Land is Your Land ... in return for a donation to my Presidential campaign)".

  7. Will sing This Land Is Your Land ... in return for a donation to my 2016 Presidential campaign.

  8. Do what prince harry did in vegas.

  9. Declares himself a Republican and supports their entire platform giving people pause.

    Will skinny dip in the hotel fountain.

    When Allen West speaks, Joe Biden will shout out "You're not being articulate!"

  10. shows up with all of obama's biographical paperwork.