Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Hot Chili, Punching Hippies, and Thunderdome


So, I had a discussion with some friends of mine (dubchub327 and Boingo) today about eating hot foods. You see, I am a big fan of hot food. I mean, the hotter the better. As I had explained to these guys, when my wife makes chili, I like to add about half a standard bottle of Tobasco to a single bowl, because I like it hot.

And everyone agreed, hot food is delicious, but the prevailing attitude was that "just hot enough for a good kick, but still has good flavor".

I'm like...flavor? What? Who needs that? I want it hot enough to embarrass that silly ball of gas we call the "sun" ('I've produced bigger). I want it so hot, it conducts ethnic cleansing on my tongue...if wimpy taste buds can be considered an ethnicity.

In fact, I want to purge the wimpy right out of myself. In effect, I want to punch every hippie cell in my person. Punch them until they stop complaining about how hot "paprika is" Oh wahh. Paprika is like a poor man's sugar. Hippies!

I know what you're thinking. "Oh man, you'll regret that kind of eating later". Ha! Fie upon you, and again I say fie! I am not sure what a "fie" is, but I think it might be opposite of a "pie", which as we all know is delicious, and so, opposite of pie on you! That seems like an insult, anyway.

Of course I will regret it later, but that is the point! This is a purification process. Bring on them habaneros! Jalapenos are for wimps. Use all of that hot stuff to purge the hippe outta me!

I am willing to accept the apocalyptic nightmare that ensues four hours later, upon the porcelain throne which I refer to as Thunderdome. That is the price I pay to make myself a more manly, tougher, American.

1 comment:

  1. last year for the work Christmas party, I made a salsa that was near as powerful as military grade pepper spray. not kidding at all.

    I like things hot as well.