Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Never Let a Crisis Go To Waste.......

Now that Sandy has wreaked her havoc, I’m really curious about what will happen next.  I’m betting that Obama will respond in some combination of the following ways:

·          Hide his head in his warm, cozy security bucket.
·          Go to Vegas.
·          Blame the storm on an offensive anti-global warming Youtube video and jail Glenn Beck, the producer of the film.
·          Blame himself for not investing enough in green energy. No wait, he would never blame himself.  Blame the Republican controlled House for not investing enough in green energy.
·          Blame Oya, the African goddess of wind, who is angered at the 52% of Americans who are racist.
·          Blame Gaia, who is full of wrath at the prospect of Romney cutting funding to Sesame Street.
·          Call in Sean Penn and put him in charge of the rescue operations.
·          Promise to investigate the cause of the storm after the election.  Spike Lee will lead the investigation.
·          Blame the current high gasoline prices on the storm.
·          Immediately embark on a world tour to apologize for not fully implementing the recommendations of the IPCC.
·          Since Sandy has now claimed more American lives than the attack in Benghazi, Obama will announce we should forget about Libya and focus our attention on his new War on Weather.
·          Send Stephanie Cutter on the talk show circuit to accuse the GOP of politicizing the climate.
·          Air drop in copies of “To Serve Man” to help the survivors feed themselves while they wait 3-6 weeks for FEMA assistance.
·          Publicly apologize for accidentally switching Al Gore from ‘suck’ to ‘blow.’
·          Rush campaign workers to the affected blue areas with early voter ballots to make sure his supporters displaced by the storm are not disenfranchised.
·          Put Bloomberg and Michelle in charge of making sure food relief provided by charities satisfies the nutrition guidelines.
·          Declare martial law and suspend the upcoming election indefinitely.

1 comment:

  1. Recognizing the severity of the problem, he reroutes a few mill to pay for a completely indoor 18 hole golf course. He's not gonna let just anything named "Sandy" mess with his score. On the other hand, it could be a good excuse....