Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Out With the Old and In With the New

On Saturday I finally got my new vehicle to replace the old Jeep I lost in an accident just before Christmas.

This is what I got:

That thing got a Hemi? Why yes, yes it does...

A new 2013 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo X with a lot of cool stuff and buttons that I haven't figured out what they do yet. Going from a 2004 to a 2013 vehicle is like traveling into the future or something. I'm not sure if the car tells me what to do more than I tell it what to do. Like, I couldn't figure out how to turn the heat on and stuff...it did it for me. It was like "Dave, just tell me the temperature and I will make you comfortable" I told it my name wasn't Dave and it just laughed and said "look, I turned on your heated seats Dave, isn't that comfy?"

Man thems comfy. And I can turn the contraption on from over 300 feet away. And I don't even have a key, I have this thing that looks like a flattened grenade called a "fob". A very strange name that. But it had me really confused because I clicked this button on the outside door handle to lock the doors and then I pulled on the handle to make sure it was locked and it would unlock. I messed with this for a while getting kind of upset because my new car wouldn't stay locked. Then I found out that the handle senses your presence or something and unlocks for you. So, yeah, it's a little creepy having a diabolical super computer run your car, but them heated seats are real comfy.

I'm calling this my 'Bama Jeep by the way. I figure that in a year or so I'll be out of a job along with a lot of other people and I won't be able to afford the payments on this thing anymore and Obama will swoop in and give me a bailout. I mean, that's the kind of things he's promised, amiright?

So I told the dealer people I didn't care how much it costed because Obama will pick up the tab eventually. And them heated seats are real comfy.


  1. For a red car, Keln, I have to admit it's pretty cute.

    1. Cute? It isn't cute. A Miata is "cute". This is ded gum beeeeautiful.

    2. I knew that would bug you. ;)

    3. Ok, ok. I'll concede that it's horribly pretty. For a RED car, I mean.

  2. Nice.

    I'm #ProgressiveCrayonColors "Consumed by Envy Green"