Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: Declared Crime Racist

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California...

#5 Rodney Dill: ...put up signs declaring it a CRIME FREE ZONE.

#4 Apostic: ...will be nuked from orbit. (It’s the only way to be sure.)

#3 Plentyobailouts: ...changed their signs to say “Welcome to Detroit”.

#2 Dohtimes: ...lowered the rate by pardoning Ricky Henderson if he promised to return all those bases.

And my favorite line goes to walruskkkch:

In resposne to rising crime rates, Oakland, California hired more cops, toughened their 3 strike laws, expanded their prison system and voted to ask for the renewal of the death penalty. Then Bobby Ewing walked out of the shower.

lol...Congratulations to walruskkkch.


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Harvey

On response to a possible North Korean missile launch Wednesday, the White House plans...Wait... I don't understand how the last four words of that straight line make any sense... :-D

Ahh, touche Harvey, touche.


And here's a line for you guys to fiddle with:

The White House plans to intercept a North Korean missile with...


  1. ...Arec Bardwin.

    ...a rape whistle and then urinating on North Korea.

  2. .Wait... I don't understand how the first four words of that straight line make any sense... :-D

  3. ...their version of Chuck Norris: John Kerry!

  4. ...a herring. Hey, it worked for the King of England.

  5. It'll be a Psy Op.... Dancing Gangnam style.

  6. ...by taunting them... "You stupid North Korean pot belly pig dogs. Your mother was a Chinese Striped Hamster and your father smelt of Kimchi."

  7. @Rodney Lay off the kimchi or you will be farting in their general direction.

  8. ...with a bigger American missile, named Ron Jeremy

  9. By trading Michelle and a future conditional draft pick to the Jets for Darrelle Revis, and putting North Korea on "Revis Island"

  10. ...the Pacific Ocean. Odds are it will work, but still, that's all they have so far.