Friday, May 3, 2013

Classic Nuke - For Explosive Opportunities, Apply Within

[From the Nuking Politics Archives: For Explosive Opportunities, Apply Within originally posted August 15, 2012.]

Some jokes just write themselves.  THIS is one of them.

I really wonder what the interview process is like.

(Interior, half cave, half office.  Somewhere in the Middle East)

Mohamed1:  “um well, first of all death to America.  Would you please take a seat”?

Mohamed2:  “Death to America and, yes, of course”.

M1:  “So, ahhhhhh (looks at resume) Mohamed”?

M2: “yes, Mohamed Mohamed”.

M1:  “any relation to the west bank Mohameds”?

M2:  “Distant cousins, but yes”.

M1:  “Good, good, I like it.  Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself”?

M2:  “Well, I’m 35 years old; I have 3 wives and 12 children”.

M1:  “Oh good, you subjugate women just like the rest of us here”.

M2:  “Yes I do.  I think the only people better at subjugating women than me is your average gangsta rapper.  Of course that is infidel music, so I wouldn’t know anything about that”.

M1:  “me either.  So let me ask you.  What would you say is your biggest strength”?

M2:  “well, that’s a hard one.  I think maybe I would have to say my hatred for America and other infidels.  That may be a bit of a cop out answer, but I think it works.  I mean really, we are all in the infidel hating business… ‘em I right  (starts laughing and elbow nudging the interviewer)

M1:  “yes yes that is right, I have to say it’s a good answer, and the one I was looking for”.  Next question; what is your biggest weakness”?

M2:  “Hmmmmm   this one is easy.  I have a hard time hating the Gays”.

M1:  “Excuse me”?

M2:  “Don’t get me wrong.  I hate them, I just don’t know about hating them enough to kill them.  Also, I think I care too much.  Not about the gays, but about my wives”.

M1:  “Of course, you defiantly wouldn't be saying that because of repressed feelings that you're trying to suppress therefore having multiple wives. That makes perfect sense. Well, thank you for coming in, I can’t say you got the job yet, but you are at the front of the list.  I have a few more people to interview.  I will be in touch”.

M2:  “awesome, is this one of those don’t call us we’ll call you type things… or do you want me to call next week”?

M1:  give us a call next week on Tuesday; I will let you know your status.  We have a lot of positions to fill, and because of this whole suicide thing we keep having to fill them”.

M2:  “well that’s just great; I look forward to dying for a ridicules cause”.

M1:  “other than death to America.  I’m not sure what the cause is?  Anyway,,, death to America”.  See you later alligator”.

M2:  “Death to America, and after while crocodile!”


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