Classic Nuke - Where We Screwed Up

[From the Nuking Politics Archives: Where We Screwed Up originally posted October 31, 2012.]

They tried their best to save us from lawyers...

I was responding to something on IMAO, which is one of my favorite websites, when the thought hit me like a lightning bolt: I haven't really written anything about lawyers. Which is kind of crazy considering, if I were ever to write a book about politics in the United States, lawyers would be the main theme and probably take up almost every chapter. Because lawyers are the devil...when it comes to politics.

Just to say up front, I don't think lawyers in general are bad people, or that it is a bad profession. On the contrary, they are necessary for society. However, when lawyers enter into elected office, they become a detriment to society. And it is because of the very nature of lawyers that we have such a morass of inane laws and just about every other mess in government.

Contrary to popular belief, lawyers aren't liars by trade. They are truth-benders and word twisters. They know more about the English language than most English teachers. They are neither interested in truth or reality. Their only interest is in perception. And as such they can take the most simple statement and convolute it into anything they wish, in order to argue their case.

A long long time ago in a colony not far away, there sat a bunch of guys sweating to death and wearing wigs and way too many clothes for summer weather in an non air conditioned building (imagine the smell!) who made it their goal to come up with a simple document, a constitution, that the newly independent states of America could agree upon. To do this, the document had to be written simply and precisely. Basically, they knew it had to be lawyer-proof. Because many of them were lawyers, and they knew how the whole lawyering thing worked. 

So they wrote a document so simply and so plain spoken that anyone who could read could both understand and interpret it. It was so simple, the Supreme Court was an after thought. Just one added layer of protection against the meddling of lawyers. Because even then, lawyers knew how to twist a sentence until it bled. 

And lawyers haven't changed since. And now you're wondering...well what happened then? If the Constitution was lawyer-proofed, how did we get into this fine mess we're in? By giving lawyers a back door, that's how. We started electing them to Congress. Making them president. Lawyer presidents choosing activist lawyers with a chip on their shoulders to be Supreme Court justices. Making Washington D.C. into lawyer city. Lawyers lawyers everywhere and not a drop of sense.

Ever read a bill out of Congress? It will confuse you. It isn't in English. It is in lawyer-ese. They don't use the standard paragraph or the standard sentence. Every three words is interrupted with a "congruent to article 43, part 5, subsection d and f", and on and on and on. You can read the Constitution. It makes sense. You cannot read a bill. 

I read the ObamaCare bill. Took me weeks to sort through that thing and then come up with a summary for my friends and family. And I know I didn't understand all of it. No law should be in a code that the average citizen cannot understand. That is utter hogwash.

But that is what you get when you keep voting lawyers into office. You get a government of lawyers. Is it so surprising then, that this lawyer government has twisted parts of the Constitution beyond comprehension? Is it any wonder that such horrible laws can get passed? Is it any wonder that our government is completely and utterly inefficient and swimming in paperwork and red tape? Lawyers don't know anything about how the real world works, because their trade isn't in reality, but in perceptions. About the twisted word. About semantics.

So if you want to fix government...stop putting lawyers in charge. Leave them in the courtroom.

---Keln