Thursday, June 13, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Pull that Ace

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

To Avoid Being Spied on by the Government, Experts Recommend…

#5 can of spam: checking the “do not spy on me box” on your 1040. You’d be amazed how many people overlook that one.

#4 calcpa: …place a “NO SPYING ZONE” sign in front of your computer.

#3 Drew : …move to Benghazi. There they’ll ignore even IF you phone and email them.

#2 FormerHostage: …get a job as an IRS Lawyer or plan to bomb a marathon.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from burt :

To Avoid Being Spied on by the Government, Experts Recommend…Get Harry Potter into a poker game and try to win his Cloak of Invisibility.
(I know that one was random, but it made me laugh out loud!!)

 Cookies to burt!

You need to check out the brilliant flowchart Les discovered. The Obama Scandal Excuse Flow Chart (full sized here) is the method our President uses to confront criticism...(although such complexity does seem somewhat above his pay grade)...Cookies to Sketchy!


Lots of great punchlines again. :)  My favorite ones:

Apparently, Joe Biden believes Al Gore won the 2000 Presidential Election. He also...

#3 can of spam: .... still wears the same pair of "lucky underwear" that he had on the day he was selected as impeachment insurance... er... vice-president.

#2 Bob in Feenicks: ...accidentally locked himself inside an invisible box owned by a mime.

and my favorite line was from A Guy Named Rob:

Apparently, Joe Biden believes Al Gore won the 2000 Presidential Election. He also...Believes that Vladimir Putin is a flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Cookies to A Guy Named Rob!

Here's a new line for you to try:

Wal-Mart is moving towards only hiring temporary employees. What else will soon be only temporary?


  1. American citizenship, which will now only last until your droning for doubleplus ungoodthink

  2. The United States of America.

  3. The United States of America.

  4. ...the despair our country has. C'mon, if Carter couldn't wreck us with the Russians having their finger on the button, then Obama can't do it with his head in a bucket!

  5. The Red Sox leading the AL East

  6. ...the news coverage of all the Federal Government scandals

    ...the guilt associated with eating a whole package of bacon

    ...the excitement of the release of World War Z, soon followed by the permanent feeling of disgust at another potential awesome movie wrecked by Hollywood

  7. The idea that we can't bring our medical personnel to America on slave ships.

    The fact that the old joke "No good deed will go unpunished" has not been written and passed into law.

    The current definitions of health and care.

  8. ...paychecks.