Friday, July 5, 2013

Bake the Punchline - Klassy Kourt

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

To Boost Their Sagging Approval Ratings, the Supreme Court…

#5 can of spam :… will enact a change making their jobs for life so they don’t have to worry about approval ratings. Oh… wait…

#4 Apostic : …will do a reunion tour with Diana Ross. (“Oh, you can’t hurry law…”)

#3 Bob B. :…decided to vote off a justice every time a decision is rendered.

#2 JeffersonFan :…are retitling themselves as the Justice League and are having new costumes made.
Justice Kennedy = Green Lantern (the gay one).
Justice Scalia = Superman.
Justice Roberts = Elongated Man.
Justice Thomas = Batman
Justice Alito = Captain Marvel
Justice Breyer = Flash
Justice Sotomayor = Martian Manhunter
Justice Ginsburg = Hawkgirl
Justice Kagan = Aquaman

And my favorite straight line of the day was from walruskkkch

To Boost Their Sagging Approval Ratings, the Supreme Court……will make it Constitutional for ALL of them to marry a Kardashian.

Macadamia Nut White Chocolate
Coconut Cookies to walruskkkch!
What? No singing to me today, walrus? :)

Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the First bestows "Empress Kitten's Kiss Up Cookies" to Burt  for his astute suggestion:

To Boost Their Sagging Approval Ratings, the Supreme Court……will be handing out cookies.  [which will do wonders!]

Cookies to Burt!
Do you have a favorite, Burt?

So I guess my coup was successful...I received absolutely no resistance. [Update: I got a "Denied" comment from that's gonna work] I have thought long and hard about a tagline and have decided on "Half-baked political commentary from a cookie point of view." which was originally submitted by Harvey. Cookies to Harvey! Watch for some up and coming sweet changes around here :)

Oh my gosh the royals are gonna love all the great name suggestions! It was so hard to narrow them down. My favorite punchlines were from:  

Vatican clears John Paul II for sainthood. Also being considered...

#3 Harvey : Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the First

Or, should she decline the honor, her sister Unnonymiss.  [too bad we're not Catholic :) ]

#2 can of spam: St. Harvey. Patron of Bacon.

My favorite line was from Oppo:

Vatican clears John Paul II for sainthood. Also being considered...St. Elmo's Fired.

Cookies to Oppo!

Here's a new line for you to try:

The TSA is testing the use of bomb-sniffing dogs at airports. They're also testing...


  1. ... crotch-sniffing dogs, because there's just some things even a TSA agent won't grope.

  2. ... drug-sniffing dogs, because finding consistent supply of the good s*** is hard to do.

  3. Suitcase-rooting pot-bellied pigs.

  4. Air traffic control-freaks.

    Pants-sniffing Dockershunds.


    Air martial law.

    Frequent flyer mohels.

  5. ...the new bomb bay screen door for easier luggage inspection and retrieval.

  6. ...BS sniffing dogs. Now, all politicians are on the No-Fly List.