Monday, July 29, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - iNspired by NY Politicians

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Apple’s CEO Said “Amazing New Products Are Coming”. First Up:…

So MANY good lines today. I had a hard time narrowing it down!

#5 can of spam:… the iCandy. It doesn’t do much, but it sure looks pretty hanging on your arm.

#4 Apostic : …iCanDoAnythingBetterThanYou – Competitive social media app. (Developers note: Crashes when baking a pie.)

#3 Dohtimes…the iCrashy dash cam boots up when your phone is in your hand and streams your accident live because you might be too dead to do it.

#2 Oppo: … a hands-free cell phone that can *only* butt-dial: the Apple MacIntush.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Apostic

Apple’s CEO Said “Amazing New Products Are Coming”. First Up:...iNuendo – A social media ap for sexting….

Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch :)

Cookies to Apostic
and walruskkkch!


Thanks to jw for the bacon cookie recipes. The peanut butter one was awesome! 

Cookies to Keln!
There. My Debt is Paid.

Keln the Great on My Throne
if you look closely, you can see my cookie in his hand...
How are your vocabulary skills? Do you know what a poltroon is? Check out Springeraz's A Blog about Phony Issues and the follow up posts here and here. Cookies are at stake. Awesome :)

Cookies to Springeraz! :D


My favorite NP punchlines:

It's no longer a crime in France to make fun of the President. Also allowed...

#3 Bob in Feenicks: ...making fun of Michelle.

#2 Harvey: ...waiters smacking American tourists who order "You Guys Fries"

My favorite line was from can of spam:

It's no longer a crime in France to make fun of the President. Also allowed... bathing and other general hygiene.

Toffee Trifle to can of spam!


Here's a new line for you to try:

To honor the President's visit, a Tennessee baker is creating an "Obama Donut". Not to be outdone, Unny wants to make "Obama Uncookies". The ingredients...


  1. ...don't matter, because no matter what Unny puts in them, Obama will say "you didn't bake that!"

  2. ... flour, sugar, hubris, butter, incompetence, eggs, blame, and salt.

  3. ... include arugula and dog.

  4. ...bag of flour ($4,423), chocolate chips ($32,177), brown sugar ($23,988), butter ($2,980) -- all listed as expense items from the latest vacation -- baked over the endless supply of hot air.

  5. they will be fat free, gluten free, sugar free, carb free, but not TAX free!

  6. ... list can't possibly turn out to be an edible cookie, but the House GOP will be blamed for the failure in baking.

  7. ... call for more and more dough, every year.

  8. ... are all household items found in your kitchen cabinets. By the NSA.

  9. ... include lots of pork, and sugar coating.

  10. iron oxide, powdered aluminum and a magnesium candle.

  11. (wouldn't the Obama do-nut be all hole, no dough$?)

  12. ...don't have to be edible, tasty or even swallowed. In fact the less you want the cookies the more determined the effort will be to shove them down your throat.

  13. ...peanut butter, jelly and a baseball bat.

  14. ...cyanide and strychnine, which still makes it a better alternative to Obamacare.

  15. ... well, let's say you'll have to eat it to find out what's in it. And you're taxed if you don't eat it.

  16. For Obama and the Left it will be a "Do Not".