Tuesday, September 17, 2013

11 Things I Learned While my Car got Fixed

-If you watch morning television in a mechanic's waiting room, you will learn more than you ever wanted to know about new trends in women's panties and boob glue.

-This month only, if you buy 3 Firestone tires, you get one free!  ( Too bad I didn't need tires)

-Some of the General Hospital actors are the same as when I was in Jr High. As far as I could tell, the plot involving a angst ridden woman with a knife and lots of people sleeping with people they shouldn't ..was also, the same.

-Three puzzles will not entertain a 4 year old for 4 hours.

-Katie Couric is a talk show host. And she's sorta blonde-ish. Who knew?

-Clearly, one will watch WHATEVER is on TV if the alternative is staring at racks of tires.

-Firestone was founded by a man named Harvey Firestone. (You will also read any signs you can see if the alternative is staring at racks of tires) (Maybe they should put up "Gun Free Zone" signs in waiting rooms? Pretty sure they'd at least get read anyway...)

-"We're driving it out to you now"  is mechanic for, "you still won't get your car for about an hour. Sit back down."

-Waiting room watching is a complex thing. It takes 4-5 workers to stare at the 2-3 people in the waiting room.  I'm not exactly sure why...but it does make me wonder if the car would have gotten done more quickly if...I don't know...a couple of them would have left the waiting room and gone to the shop and like...helped? But I'm the first to admit, I'm no expert. I'm a mechanical engineer, NOT a MECHANIC.

-By the time they called me up (by my first name, no less. I guess after that much time, Mike and I were on a first name basis) I was so exhausted I would have paid several times what I *did* pay for the pleasure of leaving that waiting room and driving my own car home. (Don't tell Firestone) - BUT ...Because I was a valued Firestone customer and member of their Loyalty Program, I ended up *saving* a total of $1.56.

-After Obamacare is fully implemented, at some point I will be stuck in a doctor's waiting room, wishing I were enjoying myself as much as I enjoyed myself today.


  1. Obamacare is going to tax that $1.56 you saved. Expect to receive a tax bill of $48.51 for those savings.

  2. You should also have learned that Firestone stinks. Winners go Goodyear.

  3. I don't think I could ever learn too much about boob glue.

  4. It's incredibly unexciting roll on stuff meant to keep "clothing up where it belongs". Sorry guys.

  5. I would like to state for the record that I emphatically oppose boob glue and propose the creation of "boob-glue-free" zones all over the country.

  6. Strike that - turns out that boob glue can also be used to enhance cleavage:


  7. You guys are incorrigible.

    Personally, I don't know that much about it.

    I haven't had any need for it. :)