Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Nuke the Punchline - Is that "Lied" or "Allied"?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one :

Larry King Said CNN Should Play SpongeBob Episodes Between News Stories. Other Ways to Improve CNN…


#5 Da**cat: ...Move its office to the moon. Then nuke it.

#4 walruskkkch: better script writing, is Joss Whedon available?

#3 Steve H: … Have Frank J edit the stories.

#2 Bob B: …would include replacing their current crop of anchors with Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and Bill Maher – new tag-line “We Snark, You Decide”

And my favorite straight line of the day was from FormerHostage: 

Larry King Said CNN Should Play SpongeBob Episodes Between News Stories. Other Ways to Improve CNN…Celebrity judges.

New Show: So you think you can read a teleprompter.
(I'm still chuckling to myself :D)


 Cookies to FormerHostage!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage and walruskkkch:

Larry King Said CNN Should Play SpongeBob Episodes Between News Stories. Other Ways to Improve CNN…

FormerHostage: Daily “Phrase that Pays” calls. Winners get a cookie.
[What a novel idea! :P]

walruskkkch: …Anonymiss cookies at all staff meetings.
[Will that make them...less liberal?  It could work...:)]


Kiss Up Chocolate Crinkles
 to FormerHostage and 
walruskkkch!
____________________

My favorite lines yesterday were:


Feminists are calling Wikipedia "very masculine". They pledge to fix it by...

Harvey:.Acting like they hate it while secretly competing for its attention.[Clever. :P]

Fred Key: ...introducing Wikipedicures.  :)

and my favorite line from yesterday was from Bob B:

Feminists are calling Wikipedia "very masculine". They pledge to fix it by...throwing history out of the window, replacing it with "her"story. (that was kinda awesome, Bob :)
  
Cookies to Bob B!
___________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


They've created a new purse with sensors to control overspending. With that, you'll also get your wife...

31 comments:

  1. ...an excuse to buy a new purse - one without the sensor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ... filing for divorce.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...the Foot Club. Lockable bars that keep her from trying on new shoes.

    ...a separate bedroom, with padded walls.

    ...make up gifts that cost ten times what she could have spent on her own.

    ReplyDelete
  4. They've created a new purse with sensors to control overspending. With that, you'll also get your wife...

    a sensor to keep her away from the gun cabinet.

    an open invitation to have her mother move in with you.

    to make you a sammich! And get you a beer while she's at it. And how come she needs shoes anyway since she's supposed to be barefoot in the kitchen making those sammiches and getting you that beer!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... the optional Nagatron accessory.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ... the $19.95 additional feature that actually PREVENTS the overspending. (Controlling it only IMPLIES prevention.)

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a bunch of MARRIED guys you are...

    Hey, Harvey, I thought you were single...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm... currently between wives, yes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That sounds so funny. You're looking for a new Mrs. Harvey?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Maybe.

    Why? You got a sister with "a great personality" you're looking to dump off on someone?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well, I do have sisters. Not your type, though.

    Hmmm. Just curious...

    ReplyDelete
  12. And just what do you suppose my "type" is?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well, they're either tomboys or married.

    I had you pegged as a guy who liked a woman who was feminine. Girly.

    Am I wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  14. ...motivated to brush up on her hacking skills...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Not wrong... curves & dresses would be a nice change of pace.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ah. Sorry.

    I am not athletic. Well, besides Zumba. I don't get the tomboy thing. I like skirts. Have more skirts than pants by far.

    But that's me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, when did this become Nuking Mingles?

      Delete
    2. When Keln's away the Kitten does play...

      Just kidding. Geez you guys are snots. Can't a girl be curious?

      Delete
  17. When?

    About the time the sexiest blogger on the planet walked in.

    Which am me.

    Can't help it if the lady digs my style. I'm simply an irresistible magnet of awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you are therefore desperate for a date because....?

      Delete
  18. Hard to find a woman good enough.

    High standards have their challenges.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And their lonely, lonely nights...

      Delete
  19. Wow.

    Somebody has Internet Delusions of Grandeur.

    I'm not sure whether or not that's covered by Obamacare... :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is. As long as you don't consider yourself grander than Obama.

      Delete
  20. I think I'm ok, then.

    NO one considers himself grander than Obama...

    Anyway, Kitten, there's a fine line between delusion and good old-fashioned honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  21. A fine line, huh?

    I thought there was a big black line...like the size of a 6 lane highway?? :P

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, with ordinary men, yes, that's true.

    ReplyDelete