Pose Before Prose

Chrissy Teigen, best known for displaying her assets in a popular sports magazine, has disappointed more than a half-million followers who wish to peruse the most pithy palaver a supermodel can produce, by quitting Twitter a day after posting this:

In an attempt to assuage a cascade of outrage over the post, which could have been penned by a certain “documentary” filmmaker whose image has (to the relief of the universe) never graced the Swimsuit issue cover of Sports Illustrated, Teigen tweeted, “Sorry you don't understand that is a knock at america and our issues with gun control. No one is minimizing the Ottawa shooting.”

Whew! I’m glad she cleared that up. She was just bashing the U.S. because the world would be a 99 percent better place if only nobody in America could get their paws on a rifle. Or a hatchet. Or a hammer. Or something.

I’m a little concerned that she seems to have an aversion to capitalizing the word referencing the country in which she was born. But, hey — supermodel. Waxed hair, don’t care.

Following a harrowing 24 hours of suffering relentless criticism and reportedly receiving death threats (welcome to the crucible, Chrissy), Teigen tweeted, “I feel sick. Bye Twitter. Taking my talents to instagram.”

Well, that’ll teach Twitter. Those other social networking sites are much safer places to post photos of your spaghetti squash — or your pert, pert thighs. Just don’t move to Canada; you might be accused of being a tax traitor.

Twitter profile pic — slightly more halal version